Lost

Somehow I've missed seeing ABC's TV series Lost until now. But I heard the buzz and saw that on Wednesday they were showing an episode which was a linear recap of the story so far. Seemed like a good time to jump in, catch up with the plot, and start watching the series every week.

Now I do get it -- I know you are not supposed to understand everything going on. It is a mystery, a puzzle. Now, cramming a gazillion episodes into one hour was bad enough, but I was just about keeping a tenuous grasp on the plot until the phone rang. It was the woman in charge of the training program at my sailing club. From that point on I went into sensory overload and total confusion.

Ear: Hi. How are you?

Brain: Oh shit. Why does she have to ring now? Where's the remote? I'll put it on mute and try and follow the captions while she talks.

Mouth: Oh ... er ... hi. Fine thanks. How are you?

Brain: Who's that guy? Which part of the plane was he in?

Ear: So what's all this I hear about you moving to Rhode Island?

Brain: How does she know that? I only told the chairman of the nominating committee as my reason for not taking on any sailing club officer positions this year. And I told him not to tell anyone else. Where did that dog come from? Was it on the plane?

Mouth: Um uh you know ... maybe ... something we're thinking about ... don't know when ... new granddaughter ... great sailing area ... might be a while ...

Brain: Why are they on that raft? And who are they fighting?

Ear: Oh that's good. We'd hate to lose you. So you might be around this summer?

Brain: Wait a minute. Is this an advert? Why are they in that modern building with computers?

Mouth: Yeah ... um ... well we might ... you never know.

Brain: Who's she and why does she have a gun?

Ear: So I was wondering if you'd be able to run some of the beginner sailing courses this summer? I know you'd be great at it.

Brain: Whaaaaat? Didn't that guy get killed in the first 5 minutes? I'm confused.

Mouth: Um ... er .... well there is a possibility we might move ... I mean we'd like to if we can sell the house. That's why I gave up being fleet captain and newsletter editor. Clearing the decks ...

Brain: Now there's a baby? Hold on. There was no baby at the beginning. And why are they looking at a movie?

Ear: Well we'd really like you to help if you can.

Brain: Why are they fighting? Who just got shot? Is he one of us or one of them? What happened to all the kids? This is getting really weird.

Mouth: Well... er ...um .... I don't really know what our situation will be ... best not to commit ...

Brain: Why isn't that other guy around any more? Why is he driving a car? Oh this must be an advert. Or is it?

Ear: Well can you suggest anyone else?

Brain: I don't get all this stuff with the computer. Would it be any easier if I could hear the soundtrack? How much longer is she going to go on?

Mouth: Um ... well ... er .... there's ... oh maybe not ... there was that thing with her ... then there's... oh no he won't do ... you know why ... um ....

Brain: Another plane? On the same island? What's all that about?

Mouth: How about ... um ... that guy who used to be a member then left then came back ... you know ... whatshisname...

Brain: So is he from that plane or the other plane or is he one of them or one of us?

Ear: Um
Mouth: Ummm.
Ear: So?
Mouth: Ummm.
Ear: Well thanks.
Mouth: You're welcome.

I need to get a Tivo.