The Ballad of Tillerman - Oh No!

Standing on the dock at Fort Adams
Laser rigged, just laze in the sun
The man in the cap
Said, "You'd better launch chap
Or you're gonna be late for the gun."

Christ, you know it ain't easy
You know how hard it can be
The way things are going
They're gonna DNS me

Finally made it out to the race course
Tide pushing me over the line
My timing's all crap
It's hard to stay back
The RC can see me just fine

Christ, you know it ain't easy
You know how hard it can be
The way things are going
They're gonna OCS me

Sailed all the way to the corner
Hoped to find wind over there
Dave Dellenbaugh said
"What's wrong with your head?"
I said, "I'm just trying to find some clear air."

Christ, you know it ain't easy
You know how hard it can be
The way things are going
They're gonna DFL me

Saving up my money for a new boat
Buying all my gear from APS
Last night the wife said
"Oh boy, when you're dead
You don't take nothing with you
But your sail, think!"

Made a lightning trip to Annapolis
Regatta gave me a cool Tilley hat
My darling wife said,
"With that thing on your head
You look just like some guru in drag."

Christ, you know it ain't easy
You know how hard it can be
The way things are going
She's gonna ridicule me

Caught an early place on the start line
Right up there in the front row
The men on the boat
Said, "You haven't a hope,
There's a black flag up and you're over, we know."

Christ, you know it ain't easy
You know how hard it can be
The way things are going
They're gonna BFD me

with apologies to John and Yoko and millions of Beatles fans