Trump Trump Trump and the America's Cup

This children's song (first recorded in 1956) was often played on the radio in England when I was a boy.

It has absolutely nothing to do with sailing, except that a sailor friend drew my attention to it. Nellie the Elephant is suddenly topical again because of its chorus line, "Trump, Trump, Trump."

That's all that seems to be on the news these days.

Trump, Trump, Trump.

"Klu Klux Klan plans parade for Trump."

"Trump may force all Muslims in the USA to be registered."

"Trump settles fraud case for $25 million."

Trump, Trump, Trump.

Can't we get back to the important stuff we used to talk about before the election like whether Caitlyn Jenner regrets not being Bruce Jenner any more, and why Tom Brady likes his balls soft?

On second thoughts... maybe not. I am really not all that interested in Tom Brady's balls.



The only bright spot in the news is that British sailor Ben Ainslie has led his team to victory over the Australian sailor Jimmy Spithill in the Louis Vuitton America's Cup World Series Superbowl Cup Final (or whatever it is called) which has been held in various locations around the world over the last decade or so. (Well at least it seems like it.)

Some sailors, a couple of cars and a pontoon boat.

Sadly this does NOT mean that the America's Cup will be returning to its rightful home in England. But apparently it does mean that Sir Ben and his team will have a two point advantage in the double secret round robin Louis Vuitton America’s Cup Qualifiers and Challenger Playoffs Elimination Round (or whatever it is called) which will be sailed over about 40 weeks next summer.

After Sir Ben has won the LVACQACPER (or whatever it is called) he will finally be allowed to give Jimmy Spithill and his Australian team another good drubbing in the actual America's Cup. And THEN the America's Cup will go back to England.

I think I got that right.

Too bad there isn't an American team in the America's Cup any more.

A waste of some perfectly good champagne

So before you go back to the real news and the steady diet of Trump, Trump, Trump here is a quiz for you.

Without googling it, what does Nellie the Elephant have to do with this song?

 

This news just in. Rumor has it that President Trump is considering adopting Nellie the Elephant as the theme song of his Inauguration.

Trump, Trump, Trump.

Broken Wing

Don't you just hate it when this happens?

Still, it could have been worse.

Nobody was injured and the sponsor's brand name wasn't affected at all.

Bermuda!

The next America's Cup will be held in Bermuda.

What a brilliant choice!



A natural amphitheater.

Excellent winds.

And it's British.

What more could you ask for?



And if you're still not convinced, read what Charles Doane - a much better writer and a much better sailor than me - has to say about this decision on his blog Wave Train.

Why Not Bermuda?

"We should just kick back and savor the madness…"

Foil

Apparently Oracle Team USA has been tuning up for the America's Cup by learning to sail foiling Moths at some place called Wangi Wangi in Australia.

In honor of the foiling camp, the team's favorite singer, Weird Al Yankovic, has composed a team song… FOIL.





Oh?

You wanted to see some sailing?

OK.





What?

No. I am definitely NOT going to post a picture of Jimmy Spithill sailing a Moth naked.

That would be very silly.

Top 7 Reasons Why Larry Ellison Will Hold the 35th America's Cup in Hawaii

There has been a lot of buzz in the last few days that Larry Ellison plans to hold the next America's Cup in Hawaii. See, for example, Larry Ellison eyeing Honolulu for '17 America's Cup.

And it's true. I have it straight from the mouth of a usually reliable source, who cannot be named at this time, that Larry has made the decision and that these are the seven main reasons why he has made this choice...


1. Hawaii is the only American state not in the Americas.  Larry feels that the America's Cup has been held in the Americas way too much. It's time for a change.

2. There some disagreement on how to spell the name of the place. Is it Hawaii or Hawaiʻi?  If the America's Cup itself doesn't generate enough controversy we can always have a good argument about diacritics and glottal stops. And Larry loves a good argument.

3. The state motto is "Ua mau ke ea o ka aina i ka pono." Need I say more?

4. Hawaiian music. The Hawaiian language has no word that translates precisely as "music", but don't let that fool you. There's a wide variety of traditional and popular styles of music unique to Hawaii. Take slack key guitar for example. Larry loves slack key guitar.

  


5. Volcanoes! What a brilliant idea to hold the America's Cup near volcanoes. A spectacular volcanic eruption could liven things up if the racing gets too boring.  Larry is a genius.

6. Spam! Spam is very popular in Hawaii. Fried spam with rice, fried eggs and spam, spam stir-fried with cabbage, spam mashed with tofu, spam and cold sōmen, spam and baked macaroni and cheese, spam sandwiches and spam musubi, to name just a few delicious spam dishes you can enjoy in Hawaii. Spam - the official mystery meat of the 35th America's Cup!!! Larry loves spam. And sponsors.

7. Okolehao. Need I say more?

La Cuchara Grasienta

Wait.

What day is it?

How long have I been here?

After over a week at Minorca Sailing, time is losing all meaning. Every day is sailing and sailing and more sailing. I am losing track of what I did each day. Sailing I guess.

Last Wednesday was our fifth day at Minorca Sailing (probably.)

In the morning the coaching session was all about mark roundings (I think.)

God knows I need to improve my mark roundings.

I could write a long boring post about what I learned on Wednesday about the minutiae of rounding marks in a Laser but it would be long and boring and there are already way too many long and boring posts on this blog.

So I won't.

In the afternoon I went off and practiced on my own and I could write a long boring post about the minutiae of what I practiced but it would be long and boring and there are already way too many long and boring posts on this blog.

So I won't.

In the evening I took the beautiful Tillerwoman to dinner at the restaurant by the side of the bay in Fornells that is universally known by the instructors here as "The Greasy Spoon."

It's not really called "The Greasy Spoon."

It's not even what, back home, you would call a greasy spoon.

It's a perfectly ungreasy restaurant called Sa Nansa.

We enjoyed watching the changing colors of the clouds as the sun set and seeing the almost full moon rising over the bay.

I can't remember what we ate that day but sobrassada and fish were almost certainly involved in some way.

So was beer.

All the restaurants and bars around here seem to serve Estrella Damm beer. According to the Wikipedia (which is never wrong) it has been brewed in Barcelona since 1876 when August Küntzmann Damm founded his brewery there. And I am sure my very smart readers know that in 2007 Estrella Damm was one of the major sponsors of a sailing team called Emirates Team New Zealand, a challenger for the America's Cup that year.

I wonder what happened to them?

5 Reasons Why the 34th America's Cup is the Best Thing since Sliced Bread

Some people seem to be very cynical and negative about the Louis Vuitton and America's Cup racing in San Francisco this summer. I really don't understand why people have to be like that.

OK. OK. I admit it. I may have had an occasional dig at AC34 myself. Like this post here. And the ones here and here.  Oh yeah, there was also this one here - and the other one here. And how could I have forgotten this other one here. Wait, wait, there's also this one here.

Hmmm. Sorry about that.



Well, sure it is true that the price to play in this America's Cup has been too high for many syndicates that were initially interested, we have already had one fatal accident, the boats keep breaking, and we haven't had any close races... yet. But I am beginning to think that in a few years time we will look back on AC34 as a huge step forward for yacht racing in general and the America's Cup in particular.



Here are 5 reasons why I am thinking that way...

1. The wing sails. Who can fail to be impressed by this wonder of modern technology?  Wing sails are the future of high performance yacht racing for sure.

 




2. Foils.  It never ceases to amaze me when one of those huge 7.5 ton AC72 catamarans lifts up on to its foils. And when they gybe the boat without dropping off the foils? Wow!

We will see foils on many other kind of boats in the next few years. You can even buy foils for your Laser!







3. Speed. I'm sorry but I'm a sucker for speed. It's a lot more exciting to watch a huge cat, with a wing sail and foils, streaking along at over 40 knots than to watch those old leadmines lumbering along like they did in the old days of the AC.



4. Spectator friendly. The courses for this America's Cup are close to shore, enabling spectators on shore to see the action. I got a taste for this at the AC45 racing in Newport last summer. Other events (like the Olympic medal races last year) are going this way too.



5. Sexy uniforms. Last but not least, I definitely want one of those Prada chrome suits to wear at my next Laser regatta.




We have seen the future of yacht racing, people. Mark my words.

Oops!

Hey Ben, isn't that our rudder?

More Cheaters

Alex Rodriguez

Cheater #1 - Alex Rodriguez, a baseball player, was penalized by Major League Baseball this week for use and possession of banned performance-enhancing substances, including testosterone and human growth hormone, and for engaging in a course of conduct intended to obstruct or frustrate the investigation into the matter.

Penalty - suspension for 211 games (through to the end of 2014.)

Larry Ellison

Cheater #2 - Oracle Team USA, a sailing team owned by Larry Ellison, was found guilty this week of cheating by illegally modifying their AC45 catamarans used in the America's Cup World Series. See video about the cheating.

What do you think the penalty should be for Oracle Team USA's cheating?

How about a suspension for the team for a certain number of "games"?

It doesn't even have to be as draconian as the 211 games that Alex Rodriguez was hit with.

It seems to me that a reasonable penalty would be to suspend the team for their next 17 scheduled races or 9 days of racing, which would only be to the end of next month.

Wouldn't that be fair?

What do you think?

What do America's Cup Sailors Eat?

Great interview here with Head Athletic Trainer Craig McFarlane for ORACLE TEAM USA on the nutrition program for the sailors on his team.

These guys burn so many calories sailing the AC72 for 4-6 hours most days, plus working out in the gym, that they need to consume around 10,000 calories a day.

The sailors eat six to seven meals a day – breakfast, lunch, and dinner, plus three or four lighter meals. 

That means they have to eat snack meals on the boat which at the moment means wraps, burritos, rice salads or potato salads, lean meats, fruit, and... Clif Bars.



Clif Bars?

That's what I like to eat when I am Laser sailing.

I'm actually doing something right?



Eat like the pros.

Eat Clif Bars.

SanFranciscoBayGate

What's usually the most exciting part of a match race?

The start. Right?

The "cat and mouse" game as the commentators love to call it. Who is in control? What will they do?

In this America's Cup with a reaching start the question is whether a boat will go for the leeward end of the line with the possibility of being inside at the first mark, or for the windward position with potentially clearer air.

So what happened in today's race between Emirates and Prada?

Search me.

The video posted on the America's Cup website jumps abruptly from 25 seconds before the start until the boats are halfway down the first leg with Prada already way behind Emirates.

What happened?

Why were those crucial seconds cut out of the tape that the public can see?

What are "they" trying to hide?

Who are "they"?

What did "they" know and when did "they" know it?

Not since the missing 18 minutes in the Watergate tapes has so much been hidden by so few from so many.

Bad Mommy

Just look at this.

That bloody Mommy Boat zooms right in front a sailing boat in the middle of a race and forces them to tack.

All because their boys dropped something off their boat.

Outrageous.

What next?

Luna Rossa Breaks Course Record in Louis Vuitton Challenge

The 34th America's Cup just keeps on delivering more and more excitement!

Not content with running a whole series of challenger "races" that mainly consist of one boat racing around the course by itself, it appears that a totally new tactic has been discovered!

If the tweets today from America's Cup Racing can be believed, those clever chappies at Luna Rossa have discovered a way of completing a one boat "race" even faster, scoring a "finish" in today's "race" only 10 mins 1.8 secs after the start.

The trick apparently was to ask the umpires to disqualify their non-existent opponent 10 minutes after the start.

Brilliant!

I don't think I've ever seen such an audacious move before.

I almost peed myself.

What next?

Doing the Math for the Louis Vuitton Round Robin

How many real races will there be in the Louis Vuitton Round Robin?

Luna Rossa (ITA) now says they will race in the Louis Vuitton (after ducking out of their first scheduled race against EmiratesTeamNZ this week.)

That sets up another thrilling race this afternoon when Luna Rossa will challenge... well, nobody.... because Artemis (SWE) are still carrying out stress tests on their second AC72. In fact Artemis have said they may not be ready to race in the Louis Vuitton round robin at all.

If that's true, let's do the math....

There are five rounds in the round robin, each round consisting of three races ITA vs NZL, SWE vs NZL and ITA vs SWE. There should have been 15 races.

But all three races in the first round will have been one-boat races. If my assumptions above are correct, then in every subsequent round there will be two one-boat races (the ones that should involve SWE) and one two-boat race (ITA vs NZL).

So, at the end of all the round robins, we will have seen 11 one-boat races and only 4 two-boat races.

The only real races will be the ones between ITA and NZL. And in what is effectively a best of five series, ITA has already forfeited the first race by refusing to sail.

As a result, in what should have been a month of racing, if NZL win their first two races against ITA it will all be over. If that happens, will ITA bother to carry on racing when there is nothing left to play for? If ITA don't come out to play after they lose, we could see only two real races in the whole round robin series.



There was a report in the last day or two that Louis Vuitton want some of their money back.

Who can blame them?

Best AC34 Joke

Best joke of the 34th America's Cup so far was a tweet from Scuttlebutt this morning...

I must admit it took me a few seconds to get it.

But it's so true!

And so funny!

Al Maktoum Family Wins Yacht Race... Again

Sheikh Mohammed bin Rashid Al Maktoum

Congratulations to Sheikh Mohammed bin Rashid Al Maktoum, Prime Minister and Vice President of the United Arab Emirates, Monarch of Dubai, Chairman of the Investment Corporation of Dubai which owns the Emirates Group which owns Emirates Airline which is the title sponsor of that red and black boat which won the second race in the Louis Vuitton Round Robin Series in San Francisco today in a thrilling race against... well, nobody. Again.

Congratulations also to Sheikh Ahmed bin Saeed Al Maktoum who is President of the Dubai Civil Aviation Authority, Chairman of the Emirates Group, and Chairman and Chief Executive of Emirates Airline. By an amazing coincidence, Sheikh Ahmed bin Saeed Al Maktoum is the uncle of Sheikh Mohammed bin Rashid Al Maktoum (even though he is nine years his junior.)

Sheikh Ahmed bin Saeed Al Maktoum

I bet Mohammed and Ahmed are thrilled that their boat won its race today and now leads the series 2-0 on account of nobody has yet showed up to race against them.

I wonder how they are celebrating?

Eric the Eel

Apparently yesterday's thrilling race in the Louis Vuitton Cup between the Emirates Airlines team and... well, nobody... is not the first time in international sports that there has only been one competitor in a race.

Who can forget the first heat of the 100 meters freestyle in the swimming at the Sydney Olympics in 2000?

Eric 'The Eel' Moussambani raced an epic race against... well, nobody... to win the heat and also break the Equatorial Guinea record for the event.

Check the video out here. (Unfortunately embedding is disabled because this event was so historic.)

Mr. Moussambani's achievement has inspired a whole generation of Equatorial Guinean Olympic swimmers.

Who knows? Yesterday's race might inspire a whole new generation of America's Cup sailors interested in the sport of one-boat racing.

Go Eric!

There Is No Second

In an exciting first race of the Louis Vuitton Cup in San Francisco this afternoon, EmiratesTeamNZ scored a surprise win against..... well, actually nobody. In a radical new racing format EmiratesTeamNZ sailed around the course by herself.

Larry Ellison explained to the media that this revolutionary new approach to the America's Cup will be much more easy to understand for TV viewers and will be more attractive to sponsors as only one boat's sponsors' name can be shown at any given time.

In other sports news today, Andy Murray of Scotland hit a tennis ball against a wall by himself for three hours in blazing hot sunshine to become the first British player to win the Gentlemen's Singlehanded Championship at Wimbledon in 77 years.

And Irishman Dan Martin won the 9th stage of the Tour de France by going for a bike ride by himself over the hilly course in the Pyrenees. "I was confident in the final stretch because I know I have some speed," the 26-year-old Martin said.

Jeremy Clarkson vs Ben Ainslie

Thanks to LiveSailDie.com for tracking down the video of the Top Gear episode (shown in the UK this week) in which Ben Ainslie and James May (and a few other dudes) on an AC45 race Jeremy Clarkson driving a Toyota Corolla in New Zealand.


To see the segment involving the sailing, hover your mouse over the video options on the right. You will see a series of numbered tiles from 1 to 7. Click on number 3.

Double Trouble

Maybe the America's Cup won't be a bust after all?

In spite of all the negative talk lately, if the actual races are as close and exciting as this two boat testing looks then perhaps AC34 actually will be a spectacular event to watch.

Where can I buy a ticket?