Saturday, November 18, 2006


One of the simple pleasures of my life is checking my Site Meter statistics to see what search engine queries are directing new readers to Proper Course. Here are a few examples...

"where do flies go in the winter?"
Search me. You're not going to find the answer here.

"proper porn"
Proper porn? As opposed to what? Improper porn? What is this person thinking?

"jiggly asses"
It's all too clear what this person is thinking. But he won't find what he's seeking here.

"sock burning"
I never cease to marvel at the human mind. Apparently some people wake up on Saturday morning and have an urge to spend the weekend burning some old socks so the first thing they do is go to Google to find the best way to plan their incendiary indulgence.

"silly awards"
Other people wake up on Saturday morning and think that nothing would make their day more complete than giving silly awards to all their friends, and they also turn to Google for ideas.

"church signs quote"
I guess the guy whose job is to put up those inspirational messages on the church sign has to get his ideas online if god isn't providing him with any help today.

"prayers of thanks"
Hope you found what you were looking for father.

"meaning of jimmy buffett southern cross"
Ohmigod. Somebody is looking for meaning in Jimmy Buffet songs. (Actually it wasn't even written by JB but then a lot of people on the internet are a little confused.)

"pain in right shoulder blade and excessive wind"
Take two aspirins and call me in the morning. Seriously, it's a bit scary if people are coming here for medical advice.

"squirrel wearing speedos"
What? I think I'm pretty broadminded but some fetishes are way too weird for me to comprehend.

"how to remove nipple rings" Carefully please, very carefully. Ouch.

"sticky toffee pudding"
Does this look like a recipe blog?

"laser sailing training regime"
Sir, you are definitely in the wrong place if you are looking to plan your laser sailing training regime by picking up ideas on this blog.


Anonymous said...

This might be more a reflection on the quality of Google's search index than the salacious attraction of your content (although I admit your content has a seductive appeal). A disclaimer is required: I work for Microsoft's Online Services Group, a competitor to Google, so my opinion is suspect. Entertaining post, though. I especially liked the squirrel wearing speedos. Might try googling that myself.

Tillerman said...

These searches were not exclusively from Google, thought Google does generate around 90% of the search engine hits on the site.

Of course I have to confess that every one of the words in those search arguments does appear somewhere in a post on my site.

However it is the combinations that amused me. Like "proper" and "porn". Or "squirrel" and "speedo". Those last two words did appear in different posts in Decemeber 2005, but never in the same post as far as I can tell.

Katinka said...

LOL...I'm dying here! Sock burning? What a great concept...

Tillerman said...

Ummm - well, I really did write a couple of posts about sock burning.

Pat said...

Just warn me before the squirrels start burning their Speedos.

EVK4 said...

I titled today's post "all girl racing crew" hoping to get some disappointed googlers for an end of the year traffic boost. We'll see.

It does scare me that I was able to mentally map some of the phrases to your posts immediately.

Tillerman said...

Edward. You would have done better if you had entitled your post: "naked sailing teenage babes bikini porn". Take it from someone who knows.

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