Wednesday, June 09, 2010

A Man with a Goat and a Stick and a Cessna

What can I say? Another superb Tuesday evening of Laser practice racing in Bristol Harbor, this time in a gusty north-westerly.

This week there were seven of us and we were on the water for a couple of hours racing windward-leeward courses with rabbit starts. My upwind speed usually placed me about fifth out of the seven, so I really had to work hard to place higher than this... which I did occasionally when someone in front of me made a mistake. Downwind I seemed to be slow early in the evening but later found more speed and was passing other boats in some races.

This kind of small group practice is exactly what I need to work on my boatspeed and tactics. Training with such quality sailors is all good.

Afterwards it was off to Redlefsens where I enjoyed the Wurst Platter and a couple of glasses of Pilsner Urquell and a wide-ranging conversation with all the other sailors. I know that we talked about saving sailing and how to beat a man with a goat and a stick, but the rest is a blur.

If you are a Laser sailor in this area and can get out of work early enough to make it to Bristol, you owe it to yourself to come and join us. I promise you won't be disappointed. Meet outside the mooring field at 5:30 pm.

I think I've exhausted my store of verbal and visual puns around wurst and sausages in previous posts so I won't bore you with those. I think I've exhausted my ways to describe how much fun Laser sailing is too, so I won't even try to do that. Actually, after last night, I think I'm just exhausted.

Last week I mentioned that in the parking lot next to the beach there was an army veteran with an old day sailer and a van. One of my readers surmised it might be Larry Ellison playing a joke on us. Huh? Anyway, this week "Larry" was still there pottering about with his boat. But there was also a plane. Honestly. I saw it before drinking the Pilsner. There must be a story as to why there is a Cessna in the parking lot but I have no idea what it is.


O Docker said...

And you doubted that it was Larry Ellison.

How else would he get to his weekly Bristol parking lot gig? Larry is a very busy man and can't afford to waste time driving around like the rest of us. There's nowhere near the launch ramp where he can land his Learjet, so the little Cessna seaplane is the perfect compromise.

Word on the street is that your little joke about him joining the Newport Laser fleet left him more than a little miffed and he's getting revenge in this quirky way of his.

Expect him to approach you with snide little jokes like:

"So, have you learned to jibe that thing yet?"


"Still slicing our fingers off in the daggerboard, are we?"

The wealthy can be so cruel.

Chris Partridge said...

I went for a brisk row on Chichester Harbour this morning. The water was glassy smooth and we flew.
We passed a guy in a stationary sailboat, looking thoroughly cold and miserable.
It was a Laser but he wasn't having any fun at all.

O Docker said...

You tell him, Chris.

Tillerman said...

O Docker, I'm always unimpressed with the lack of ingenuity you use to sneak in shameless plugs for your own blog like that.

Baydog said...

Call me naive, but would you tell me how to beat a man with a goat and a stick? I've so much still to learn.

Dennis @ Discount Marine Electronics said...

If you finish the evening strong with a worst and pilsner then the best way to start is by flying to the marina.

Carol Anne said...

It's pretty easy to beat a man with a stick. Beating a man with a goat, however, could be more challenging. It would have to be a pretty small goat to pick up and swing around.

Pat said...

Using a Cessna to beat a man is really hard, unless you're only trying to use the Cessna to beat him to a destination.

Beating a man who has a Cessna, a goat, and a stick is really hard, however.

You need to trick the goat into tripping the man, then grab his stick, then throw it into the spinning propeller of the Cessna before you're free to beat him.

Baydog said...

Now why didn't I think of that?

Tillerman said...

Pat, well done. Now you're thinking like a Laser sailor.

O Docker said...

I thought a Laser sailor would beat a man with a goat and a stick by claiming the goat did not conform with class rules.

Tillerman said...

O Docker, I like the way you're thinking. Welcome to the Laser Class.

Pat said...

Actually, Laser sailors would probably call for a Measurement to determine whether it conforms to class rules. Is the stick wood laminate or carbon fibre?

Tillerman said...

Pat, the stick is unrestricted but the goat must not exceed the maximum and minimum dimensions of a sample of ten other goats.

Gordon S said...

With it's Australian VH registration letters, the Cessna floatplane is a long way from home. There's got to be a good story here.

The O'Sheas said...

My wife has a goat.

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