Last week of August ...
29 years ago I was building sandcastles in Spain with my one-year-old son.
28 years ago I was camping in the rain in France with aforementioned son and a heavily pregnant Tillerwoman.
20 years ago I was helping to run an Optimist sailing camp for kids at Rutland Sailing Club attended by both of my sons.
8 years ago I was helping to teach Sunfish sailing to kids in New Jersey.
For way too many years I was in some glass box arguing about budgets and plans and cost allocations and engaging in other stressful office-based activities that seemed important at the time but seem utterly irrelevant now.
On Wednesday evening last week I went sailing on Upper Narragansett Bay in my Laser. The conditions were perfect. I just cruised around and remembered why I enjoyed sailing so much.
I also remembered...
- why I retired from working in glass boxes
- why I moved to Rhode Island.
So I could do this.
On Tuesday of last week the weather forecast was "iffy". Light winds and possible thunderstorms in the area. Should I go sailing or not? I watched the sky. I checked the weather forecast. I studied the radar maps hour by hour..Eventually at about 3 o'clock I decided. What the hell, I'm going sailing. What's the worst that could happen? Oh, I guess I could be struck by lightning, but I'll stay reasonably close to the launch area, keep an eye on the sky, and head back in if it starts to look ominous.
When I arrived at Independence Park in Bristol things were looking good. There was a gentle westerly wind blowing, and in the sky to the west there was a bright blue patch among the surrounding clouds. Seemed like things were going to be clear for a couple of hours.
As I launched I could see what looked like a thunderstorm way to the south over Portsmouth and Middletown. I practiced sailing up and down the harbor, trying to remember all the light air skills that I had been taught at Kurt Taulbee's clinic in Florida. The area of clear sky came directly towards me, but then a huge long cloud like a man's arm pushed out of the blue with what looked like a comic book fist about to zap the zenith. Dramatic, but no thunder.
I half expected some of the Laserite crowd that were here two weeks before to come out and practice too. But at 5pm none of them had appeared. Maybe they were freaked by the weather forecast? Maybe someone sent round an email saying, "no sailing this week". Whatever. In an case, I didn't get the memo.
I kept on with my practice. Some A-cats came out from the yacht club for their regular Wednesday night races. Then around 5:30 pm another Laser did come out to join me. Never seen the guy before. Another ex-pat newcomer to the area it seemed. He was hoping to sail with the Tuesday night regulars but I guess he didn't get the memo either. We talked about where we had been sailing in the last year and did a few practice races in the light airs.
We sailed in before the wind totally died. There was no thunder. Nobody got struck by lightning. Just two Laser dudes racing round a sausage on a summer evening. Priceless.
One of my favorite places to launch when I'm Lasering on my own is Colt State Park in Bristol because it has two boat ramps with a dock between them. It's very easy for me to launch my boat and tie it up to the dock while putting my dolly ashore. And ditto in reverse when I return.
I could launch off one of the many beaches in the area but after launching there's always that awkward "let go of the boat, run up the beach with the dolly, estimate state of tide during the next few hours and make sure dolly will be above the water all the time, drop dolly, run back to boat, and hope that in the meantime it hasn't (a) drifted out of reach, (b) capsized, or (c) been smashed on to the beach by wind and/or waves thereby causing extensive scratching, scraping and dinging of my precious gelcoat necessitating extremely tedious and time-consuming repair, and ditto in reverse when I return" process.
Where was I? Where am I? Oh yes, the boat ramp. Beaches are fine if there are two (or more) Laserites going for a yot. One can hold the boats while the other deals with the dollies. On your own, a ramp and a convenient place to tie up the boat are perfect.
So last Sunday I went over to Colt planning a bit of a yot around the bay on a perfect afternoon for Lasering. Big mistake.
I had forgotten. In the middle of the week this is a relatively quiet spot. At the weekend on a sunny afternoon in August it's somewhat busier. Actually a lot busier. And worse than that, every yahoo in Rhode Island who has just bought a jetski, or a fishing boat, or a catamaran but has no idea on how to sail it, is there.
And nobody has taught these guys ramp etiquette. So let me make it simple. If you are using a boat ramp there are three cardinal rules...
- if someone is already using the ramp (even if he is only a Laser sailor) it's impossible for the two of you to occupy the same piece of real estate simultaneously
- minimize the time you have to use the ramp by preparing everything possible in advance
- wait your turn.
I guess it could have been worse. I only came close three times to making the TV news headlines with a story along the lines of "Ramp Rage Rampage By Loony Laserite" or "Brit Boater Arrested In Ramp Rage Riot".
The first time was when I was launching. I'm pretty quick. Probably occupy the ramp for less than a minute. But that didn't stop some dude in a motorboat from roaring in from the bay and attempting to tie up to the dock outside of me. The ramp is fairly narrow and there are rocks on the other side, so as he drifted perpendicular to the dock he was totally blocking my exit to the bay. And I was totally blocking his exit to the ramp. I don't know what he was thinking. His mate was shouting something about whether he wanted a "rope" from the "back end". His language may not have been very nautical but he had the right idea. If they pulled in the stern there was a chance that I might be able to sail round them. Anyway the "rope to the back end" didn't materialize and I watched as the propellers of the twin outboard drifted on to the aforementioned rocks.
I waited. I watched. I patiently stood there holding my Laser ready to sail away whenever they left me some room to do so.
There was a lot of grinding of metal on rock. There was a lot of shouting. Engines were raised. Voices were raised. Engines were gunned. Water was churned. Voices were raised some more.
I waited. I adopted my best British supercilious stare. I tried to communicate telepathically, "If you two gentlemen hadn't been in such a hurry I would have been out of here by now and you wouldn't have to be putting up with this silent supercilious stare."
Eventually the two dudes worked out that the best thing was for them to go out and come in for another shot. In the meantime I sailed skilfully out of the dock while trying to communicate telepathically, "I'm a real boater. You are ramp hogs. Have a nice day."
I went for a yot around the bay. Superb afternoon for sailing. Flat out hiking upwind. Riding the waves downwind. After a couple of hours I headed back to the ramp.
There was a catamaran tied up to the downwind side of the dock where I had left my dolly. There was a man and a woman and a dog on it. The jib was flapping in the wind. The mainsail wasn't up. The man seemed to be busy doing something at the mast. The woman and the dog were watching him.
I went for another bit of a yot. I practiced some tacks and some gybes and some mark roundings. After ten minutes or so I went back to the dock. The catamaran was still there. The man was still busy doing something. The woman and the dog were still watching him.
Hey ho. What the hell. I went for another bit of a yot. Had fun reaching on the waves. Blasted around doing some Laser style soul sailing. After another ten minutes or so I went back to the dock. It looked like the man had just about finished whatever he was doing. In any case they drifted off the dock with the jib flapping in the wind. As they sailed past me I saw that the man actually was still busy doing something with the mast and the woman and the dog looked scared. It wasn't entirely clear to me if they were actually sailing or just drifting off in the general direction of Barrington. Whatever. I communicated to them telepathically, "I'm a real boater. You are ramp hogs. Have a nice day." I think the dog may have been receiving.
There wasn't anybody on land or on the water waiting to use the ramp so I sailed in, jumped off my boat, and started taking out the daggerboard and lifting the rudder. Just then, a rusty trailer carrying a jetski started coming down the ramp towards me. I couldn't even see the vehicle to which the trailer was attached so sure as hell the driver couldn't see me. (Though you would think he could have seen the top of my mast?) So I hollered to make sure he was aware that he was about to run over a Loony Laserite Brit Boater about to have a serious case of Ramp Rage. He stopped halfway down the ramp. At least he hadn't crushed me beneath his rusty trailer. I tied up my boat and retrieved my dolly and put my boat on the dolly. The rusty trailer was still halfway down the ramp but I could just squeeze past him and luckily the wind direction was such that I didn't break too many windows on his SUV with the end of my boom.
While giving him one of those friendly guy how-ya-doing nods I also sent an urgent telepathic communication saying, "I'm a real boater. You are a ramp hog. Have a nice day." I don't think he was receiving. And he didn't even have a dog to act as translator.
So please please please don't be a ramp hog.
The genius who thought up the "medal race" concept for Olympic sailing should be fired. The whole idea is a dismal failure. Let's scrap the medal race fiasco now.
It was all supposed to make sailing easier to understand for the general public. Supposedly we dumb sailing TV viewers didn't understand how a sailor could do so well in a long series that he could skip the final race and still win the gold medal. The genius who thought up the medal race probably imagined that the winner of the medal race would win the gold medal. It would be an exciting final showdown to the Olympic regatta. It would turn sailing into a popular TV sport.
So the aforementioned genius came up with the idea of a medal race... compulsory race for top ten boats, double points, no discards. Brilliant.
Problem is that it hasn't worked. Just look at this week's medal races...
- In the men's 470, the Australian team had such a huge points lead going into the medal race that they could have finished last in the medal race and would still have won the gold. Thrilling.
- In the 49ers, the Danish team sailed the Croatian boat, started four minutes late, finished seventh, and still won the gold medal. Logical.
- And here's the real kicker. In the Lasers, the Swedish sailor ended the fleet racing in second place behind the Brit in first. But the Brit had such a large lead that, to win the gold, he just needed to ensure that he wasn't last and the Swede wasn't first in the medal race. So the Brit match-raced the Swede and they finished ninth and tenth in the medal race. The Brit got the gold. The Swede, arguably the second-best Laser sailor at the Olympics, finished sixth overall in the rankings, with no medal at all. I don't blame the Brit for what he did, but here's the real irony. If the Swede had had a point or two less in the regular fleet racing the Brit would have not need to have match-race him to win the gold, and the Swede may well have won the silver or bronze medal. So the medal race concept can actually incentivize a sailor to do worse in the earlier races in order to win a medal. Explain that to your average TV viewer.
- It was all supposed to be about making TV exciting for the Olympics, right? What TV? There was no TV coverage of sailing in the Olympics this year in the USA, the largest, most lucrative TV market in the world.
So let's scrap this medal race nonsense now. It's a crock.
Warning: Scrolling down this post or clicking on the link contained herein may result in eye strain, involuntary interjections, and potential termination of employment. Not Safe For Work.
I am shocked...
Every Olympic Games we read about how unfair it is that some countries support their athletes financially much more generously than others. There's usually some whining about how the Brits win so many medals in Sailing because the sailors receive support from the National Lottery when anyone with eyes to see would realize that Brits are just genetically superior when it comes to sailing.
Anyway I am shocked...
According to The Sun (the authoritative source on such matters) the female Laser Radial sailor from Germany, Petra Niemann, raised money for her campaign by posing nude for the German edition of Playboy. This is a terrible example to young women sailors around the world and I sincerely hope that no other female sailors follow Petra's example. It just isn't cricket.
Petra sounds like an extremely smart young woman. The Sun quotes her as saying, "I work extra hard with my psychologist. He advised me to concentrate on the high point of the year above everything else."
That's the way to approach the Olympics... concentrate on the high point... let's see no more of these tacky nude photos.
I am shocked.
So far the US Olympic Sailing Team has won only one gold medal. And the winner of that was a girl.I don't think that our guys are eating properly. They should copy that annoying Phelps kid who has won all those gold medals for swimming. Just check out what he eats every day for breakfast...
Three fried egg sandwiches; cheese; tomatoes; lettuce; fried onions; mayonnaise; three chocolate-chip pancakes; five-egg omelet; three sugar-coated slices of French toast; bowl of grits; two cups of coffee.
Sounds good to me. If it's fast for the Phelps kid it should be fast for Laser sailing, right?
I start my new diet tomorrow.
Let's kick the 49er out of the Olympics. This week's 49er medal race demonstrated once and for all that this fragile little boat is unsuitable for sailing in conditions that other classes would consider as ideal winds for exciting racing.
According to Tim Wadlow of the US 49er team, the race started in 19 knots and 5 foot seas. Woo hoo. Wait for me. Perfect Lasering weather.
Of the 10 boats in the race, 4 were damaged and at one point 7 were capsized. It seems it was one of those races where he who capsized least would win.
DEN started the race almost 5 minutes late in a boat borrowed from CRO, and finished 7th which was enough for them to win the gold medal. Then they were protested for borrowing a boat. Ain't Olympic sailing fun?
The Yanks failed to finish and requested redress saying the race committee shouldn't have started the race. In 19 knots? Ain't 49er sailing fun?
Apparently the race was even terrifying for the spectators. The mother of Chris Rast, Tim's team-mate, wrote this to Scuttlebutt.
I watched in total terror as one boat after the other disappeared into chop and flipped. At one point Mr Jobson asks, "What happened to the USA team? Where is the USA team? Nine out of ten boats are now flipped!" I was sick. Do these conditions qualify putting our loved ones and our friends at risk of losing their lives, let alone the extreme damage done to almost all the boats? Who made the final decision to hold these races that day? It was not a "race"; it was a a survivor training course held in extremely dangerous conditions. Although, I am sorry my son and Tim Wadlow did not finish the race, I feel my fervent prayers were answered as I witnessed this race---both of them made it back to shore alive.
When it's too scary for the Moms to watch it's time to call the whole thing off.
So let's chuck 'em out of the Olympics.
I get confused about Britspeak and Amerispeak. I think "sausage" is Britspeak for a windward-leeward course. Draw the course. You'll see what I mean.
Anyway. That was Saturday afternoon. Just six Laser dudes racing round a sausage.
This year I've raced in Australia and the Caribbean. I've trained in Florida, and raced in a Masters World Championships and a Masters Nationals. But I had just as much fun on Saturday racing round a sausage with five other Laser dudes on a puddle in Massachusetts. It was the friendly Saturday practice/informal racing scene that I wrote about in And Now For Something Completely Different.
The dude that sends the emails summed it all up this way...
What a great day we had yesterday! The weather cooperated with scattered clouds, high 79, wind out of the west starting in the high single digits, building to the low teens. We had 6 Lasers, and sailed 9 races with 5 different winners. There was a varied fleet with ages ranging from 21 (Happy birthday Ryan - It was his 21st yesterday) to 60. Both sexes were represented. There was a variety of experience levels ranging from relative newcomers to the Laser to long time Laser sailors. Everyone seemed to have a lot of fun. As Rick told me later, "It was a blast."
It sure was.
The major gusts and shifts seemed to be coming out of a bay to the right of the course and the right end of the start line was favored. So in the first few races I tried to win the right end of the line, tack on the first header, get into a puff and ride it to the windward mark. The strategy worked at first and I won the first two races.
Then I got greedy and I tried to play that side of the course on the runs. But it was too big a diversion off the rhumb line to reach the gusts so I lost to the boats on the other side.
Then somebody noticed that I was getting a free ride winning the right end of the line every time. I was feeling loose so I shouted to the other dudes to, "Bring it on. Fight me for the right."
They did. They were good.
One race the dude blowing the whistle for the starts and I were forced over early. I did a quick tack and gybe and restarted quickly... I think I was second in that race.
Then they readjusted the line so the pin was favored. So I won that end. I never win the pin. It felt good. I think I won that race too.
Then the wind went further right and we had a laugher of a race where the dude that started furthest left was laying the windward mark and arrived there first. Happy birthday Ryan.
In the last race I misjudged the layline for the right end of the line and was squeezed the wrong side of the buoy by the "other sex" sailor. I came round for a second try and capsized on the mark and got tangled in the anchor line. LOL as they say on the Interwebs.
What a blast!
Just six Laser dudes racing round a sausage.
Whoah. What happened? I blinked, and the Olympics (at least for the Lasers which is all I really care about) are almost over. Days with no wind. One day with too much wind. Hey, sounds just like any other regatta.
So the medal races are tomorrow, or tonight, or something like that. I'm not staying up till the wee hours of the morning to watch the medal races on the Internet, so it will all be over by the time I wake up tomorrow.
So who to root for in my sleep?
Well the Brit of course. Paul Goodison only needs to come 9th or better in the 10 boat medal race to clinch the gold medal. Should be a piece of cake.
Is it just my imagination or is good old GBR dominating the sailing again at this Olympics?
And then there's a bunch of guys close to each other in contention for the silver. But I'm going to be rooting (while sleeping) for Gustavo Lima of Portugal because...
- he's the only one of the bunch that I've met (though I doubt he remembers our conversation in the line for the BBQ on the beach in Cabarete)
- he's the only one that I've raced against
- he's the only one that I've beaten to the windward mark in a race (OK a practice race)
- I think that my fifteen seconds of minor glory story will be even more dramatic if I can bore folks with the line "did you hear about the day I beat an Olympic silver medalist?"
And then there's the Laser Radials where Anne Tunnicliffe (USA) is assured of some kind of medal and goes into the medal race with a 7 point lead over her nearest rival.
The great thing about being of one nationality (GBR) while living in another country (USA) is that you have twice the chance of being able to support a winner at the Olympics. (Though Tillerwoman with her Australian roots is even better placed to be able to cheer a sailing gold medal winner in any given event.)
Anyway, regular readers of this blog (all three of you) will know that I've been something of an Anna groupie for over two years now with posts such as Anna Wins Gold, Go Anna!, and Anna Wins Gold in China.
But you know what will happen if Mrs Funk (yes Anna married Brad Funk earlier this year) brings home the gold in the Laser Radial class? Thousands of young American women will be inspired to take up Laser Radial sailing and major Laser regattas will be inundated with hordes of nubile young women wearing tight outfits of Lycra and Neoprene and asking for advice on how loose their vangs should be. The prospect for a dirty old Laser geezer like me is enough to make me drool in anticipation.
(Just looking dear, just looking.)
Go Anna!
What a brilliant idea... maps on shoes. If you're lost in some strange city you don't need to stand on a street corner trying to work out where you are on a paper map and looking like a tourist. Instead just stare down at your toes and you're all set.
Could even be a great idea for those racing sailors who have a tendency to forget the course they are supposed to be sailing. How often do you hear some dude who surprisingly finds himself leading a race shouting to the other boats nearby, "What's the course?" as he realizes he has no idea where to go after the windward mark. And yes I mean you, all you Laser sailors at the Buzzards Bay Regatta this year who couldn't remember what a T3 course was. Just inscribe the course maps from the SIs on your hiking boots and you'll never get confused again.
Thanks to GEOBLOGGERS for the idea. You can design your own map shoes at Zazzle. But I wonder why they are only doing women's and kids' shoes? Hmmm.
And if you want to buy something from Zazzle, check out their coupon page first.
