Wednesday, July 18, 2007

Harry Potter and the Deaf Ear Hellos

Spoiler warning. As a result of my close relationship with JK (or Jo as her intimate friends call her) I can now reveal some hints of the contents of the seventh and thankfully final edition of the Harry Potter twaddle...

Almost every other character in the story comes to a sticky end, and then Harry at the ripe old age of 17 discovers that Laser sailing is more interesting and complex than that Quidditch folferole and leaves Hogwarts to train to win the UK Laser spot in the 2012 Olympics. Thanks to his magical powers he can spot every windshift and easily beats all the muggles and the RYA select him as their candidate. Unfortunately in the medal race the judges rule that his magical insights count as outside assistance and disqualify him under Rule 41 thereby allowing a 64-year-old formerly British recently naturalized Virgin Islander to become the oldest person ever to win the Laser gold medal at the Olympics.
Good triumphs over evil. Ron and Hermione finally hook up and name their first child Tillerman and life goes on.

Where was I? Where am I? Oh yes. Please don't post any of the above on the usual HP forums. Jo would be upset.

6 comments:

villiers said...

Gee, thanks, ruin the ending for me! :-)

Carol Anne said...

Hmmm ... I wonder whether magical intuition would really count as a Rule 41 violation -- if it's Harry's own talent, it couldn't really be counted as "outside" help.

OTOH, it might still be counted as "information not readily available to all competitors."

But then, in the fleets I sail in, just simply being able to observe the wind shifts and interpret them is also "not readily available to all competitors." So it would seem that Harry's just more perceptive than anyone else.

Now, maybe he used his magic powers to influence the elements around the boat, and therefore committed a Rule 42 violation. But even that gets a bit tricky to call, since legal propulsion of the boat is that caused by the action of the wind and the water. There's nothing about what causes said action.

Pat said...

Besides what the Sorceress said, Rule 2, Fair Sailing, may be more relevant. Fair Sailing and Sportsmanship (Rule 69) would only be maintained in an all-wizards or all-muggles fleet. Note that some degree of rule 42 modification may pertain depending upon class rules; if the one-design boats in question are themselves magical you will need to check the applicable one-design class incantations.

Tim said...

My dreams are equally bizare

Sally said...

love it- celerating your gold!!! ( btw I am Tim's other half- at All day I dream about sailing!)

Christopher said...

Thanks, you just saved me a couple bucks!

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