Thursday, July 19, 2007
Confound you sceptics. I could just sense that some of you didn't believe my exclusive scoop of the ending to the Harry Potter series revealed here yesterday. But now the front cover of Harry Potter and the Deaf Ear Hellos has been made public and I am vindicated.
It's clear that the ending is a tale of sailboat racing because it's absolutely obvious that the cover depicts three wild-eyed Laser sailors dashing to the protest room at the end of a hard day's racing in order to be the first to file protests against the dastardly forces of evil that they have been struggling against all day.
That brainy looking chap in the front, elbowing all the others aside, is clearly ready to take on the dark powers of the race committee and is planning to file a request for redress for their wicked plot to confuse him about the number of laps to be sailed in the second race.
And that angry female behind him (Paige is that you?) is still hyperventilating about that incident with her rival in the Radial fleet at the leeward mark in the first race. "Like I told you like no room like and you were like I have room and I was just like no way and then I like closed the door and you were like I don't care I'm coming through that gap anyway."
And why is that third sailor looking so terrified? Has he just seen the clock and realised that he only has three minutes left to write up his protest and find some witnesses before the time limit expires? Or has he realised that the bar has just opened and that he is going to be locked up in the protest room for the next two hours while his buddies are drinking?
Remember, you saw it here first.