Dear Ms Regatta Lunch Snack Organizer,
Thanks for giving up your free time to help run this regatta for us. I appreciate that you are a volunteer and that you are probably not a Laser sailor yourself. I really appreciate that the regatta organizers saw fit to spend some of our entry fees to buy on-the-water lunches for us every day and I want to thank you for volunteering to head up the team buying all the food and packing it in plastic bags for us and then handing it out to us on the water every day.
Having said all that (and I do appreciate you, I really do, and I have been in your shoes and once made a huge mistake in this capacity myself) could I please offer one suggestion...
Smuckers processed peanut butter and grape jelly Uncrustables are not suitable lunch snacks for Laser sailors.
Here are a few reasons...
1. They taste vile.
2. They are intended for little kids, not finely tuned adult athletes like us.
3. They taste vile.
4. They contain way too much fat and way too little carbohydrate to be a satisfactory snack for someone undertaking vigorous physical exercise.
5. They taste vile.
6. They are a processed food made in a factory.
7. They taste vile.
Can I suggest that before your yacht club hosts this regatta again you have a chat with the folks at Brant Beach Yacht Club in New Jersey about how to provide sustenance on the water for Laser sailors. At the Atlantic Coast Laser Championships a couple of years ago they had a large catamaran moored on the direct line between the finish and start lines of the trapezoid course. There were several people positioned on the transom of this catamaran handing out energy bars and fruit and water between every race. That's what we really need. Healthy food that tastes good and provides the fuel we need frequently. Not processed junk kiddie food.
Sorry to be so blunt. I think that's all for now. Thanks for volunteering to provide us with lunch. Hope the feedback is helpful. I appreciate all your efforts. I really do.
Update: I have been asked to point out, for anyone reading this post on or after August 13, that it does not refer to the 2007 Laser US Nationals hosted by Malletts Bay Boat Club, Vermont from August 10-12. The post was originally published on August 6 and even I cannot tell the future.