Wednesday, September 26, 2007

How to Pee on a Laser

"You're a good sailor and you seem to be a bright guy but we need to talk. There are several ways a man can pee between Laser races but hanging your body over the side in the water and doing it like a girl is not one of them."

Whaaaaaat? Who is this fool addressing me in such manner? Doesn't he know that to pee the way he does, waving his appendage in free air, and shooting a stream of urine over the transom I would have to...

  • remove PFD

  • remove spraytop

  • remove shorts over hiking pants

  • unhitch hiking pants from shoulders

  • pull down hiking pants... OK you get the idea -- I don't need to get graphic about the rest of the operation...

So jumping over the side of the boat and peeing in my pants and letting the sea water rinse through the neoprene is the fastest and most convenient option. Anyway, since when was the way you pee on a Laser a test of one's manhood?

Meanwhile those charming chaps who sail Sunfish are discussing on their forum how to poop during an eight-hour race. So that's what the inspection hatches are for?

Seriously B. Congratulations on qualifying for the Olympic trials. But you pee your way, and I'll pee mine.


8 comments:

Brian said...

Thanks, and good luck to you in Spain. May you finally beat "that guy".

EVK4 said...

Wow. If there was ever a good argument for keelboats, you just made it. I have what is known as a "head" in my boat...it's this odd toilet-like contraption used for human waste material. Oddly convenient and doesn't expose any body parts to the elements that don't want exposing.

Wavedancer said...

Somewhat as an aside, what do you have to bring with you when chartering a Laser (abroad) and how to you pack the 'stuff' to get it through airport security?

Good luck to all 400+ competitors. The AARP clearly has a future!

Pat said...

There are such things as thirty-foot keelboats without a head. But, we do have a bucket and a bilge pump.

Carol Anne said...

Pat neglected to mention that the Etchells class rules require not just one bucket, but two. So we have a men's and a women's.

Zen said...

I'm with you Ed!

Chainsaw said...

When it becomes necessary to lighten the load while sailing my laser I always visit a lesser known bay nearby which I have renamed for the purpose and in Honor of another well known Auckland Yachties haunt: Wizzlington Bay. Wizzing in your pants is for surfers. Sailors should maintain higher standards. LOL

mahon said...

you just grap the hikers pull them down enough to whip it out and go wild

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