Lasers Suck

Can you hear that giant sucking sound?

Actually I don't mean the giant sucking sound that Ross Perot talked about back in 1992, the sound of all our jobs going to Mexico. Of course he was only half right... all of our jobs eventually went to China... but he had the right idea.

No, I'm talking about the giant sucking sound that the Laser autobailer makes when you're tanking along at a speed that feels like warp 3 but is probably only about 4 knots or so. I love that sound.

God knows the Laser autobailer is one of the worst components ever installed in a boat. The little O-rings that keep it shut perish and break. And it's all too easy to kick it closed with your foot when you really want it open and you don't realize what you've done until the cockpit is half full of water and you're wondering why the rest of the fleet is so much faster than you all of a sudden. But I love that sweet sucking sound it makes when it's working properly.

Short pause to consider how many minutes will elapse before Joe Rouse posts a comment here telling me how the Force 5 autobailer is far superior...

Pause over.

Last Thursday I went for a sail from Colt State Park in Bristol over to Aquidneck Island heading directly for that monstrosity on the Portsmouth skyline known as The Tower at Carnegie Abbey, a 22 storey skyscraper that would look more at home in downtown Manhattan than in Portsmouth one of the most beautiful towns in New England with its farms and pastures and 56 miles of coastline not to mention its status as "The birthplace of American democracy - 1638".

Hey, look it up. It's true. 1638. American democracy started here. It says so on a sign when you drive into the town so it must be true.

Where was I? Where am I? Oh yes, I forget to mention that you too can live in the Great Silo of Aquidneck if you want to find 950 grand for a one-bedroom apartment or maybe 7 million for the penthouse. You'd better hurry though, it's selling fast, with those superb views of the crazy old man in his Laser sailing over from Bristol.

Oh yeah. I forgot. This is really a post about Laser sailing.

Anyway, the wind was from the south-west, a tasty 15 knots or so, and I could just about lay the Carnegie Abbey Phallus on a beam reach with only a bit of upwind work to clear Poppasquash Point each way. Man, what a ride. Wild planing reach for several miles. And all the time... that giant sucking sound. I love that sound.

There was a ketch out cruising the Eastern Passage but otherwise not a lot of other boat traffic. Just me and my little Laser and the giant sucking sound.

Lasers suck.