Thursday, January 07, 2010
So there I was standing at the urinal in the men's bathroom at the Bitter End Yacht Club after winning the Sunday Laser regatta when this other guy sidled up to the next urinal. We're standing there doing what men do in these circumstances, staring straight ahead, and I'm feeling pretty mellow (did I mention I won the Laser regatta?) so I strike up a conversation with the other dude.
We exchange some pleasantries about the freezing cold temperature in the men's bathroom at BEYC. Every other public area at the resort is basically open to the elements and the delightfully warm outside weather but for some reason the bathroom is as cold as a meat locker.
Then I forget that not everyone who is on the property is either staying at the resort or a member of staff and I ask him what he has been doing this morning (perhaps hoping he will then ask me what I did this morning and I could tell him about winning the Laser regatta.) The question stumps him for a while and then he realizes that I think he is also staying at the resort and he corrects my mistake by telling me that he actually arrived here by one of the yachts out on the moorings.
Except he has to give me one important detail about his boat which is clearly very important to him. "Oh, I came on a 43 foot catamaran."
43 foot? Why should I care how frigging long his pontoon boat is?
And then I get it. This is a macho thing. This is what male yachties do. They boast to other male yachties about the length of their thingies. Just like little boys back at school comparing the length of their thingies.
So there I am standing at the urinal (still staring straight ahead) and I realize I've just been challenged by another male about the length of my thingie. How should I respond?
"Oh, I've been sailing a 14 foot Laser and a 13 foot Hobie Wave," would make me sound terribly inadequate compared to him and his 43 foot thingie.
I finish doing what it was I came in here for....
I mutter, "Oh well, have a good day." And beat a hasty retreat.
Game, set and match to the man with the 43 foot thingie.