I probably haven't sailed a dozen times since the beginning of the year. I didn't sail in a "real" race once between 2 Nov 2008 and 1 Nov 2009. This is terrible.
There was a time when I raced on at least 30 weekends every year. Plus some major regattas like a North Americans or CORK in the summer. Plus a major regatta somewhere warm in the off-season like a Sunfish Worlds or a Laser Master Worlds or a Midwinters. In 2008 I sailed on 94 days.
I wasn't just a casual sailor. I was a fanatical racing sailor. So what happened?
I have no idea. But here are some reasons that might go some way to explaining why I (almost) gave up sailing this year.
1. Family. My two grandchildren are fascinating little people. I am the only grandfather they have. I barely remember my own grandfathers; one died before I was born and the single memory I have of the other is of being taken to see him in his bed, probably during his final illness. I want my own grandkids to have better memories of me than that. More than that, I treasure every moment I can spend enjoying their company and watching them change and grow. They came to see us almost every weekend this summer and it always seemed the right choice to play with them rather than to go sailing.
And yet, there were lots of other days when I could have gone sailing but didn't...
2. No BHAG. The last couple of years I have set myself Big Hairy Audacious Goals for my sailing. In 2007 it was to finish in the top half of the Laser Masters World Championship. (I did it.) In 2008 it was to sail on at least 100 days. (I failed.) In 2009 I didn't have a BHAG to drive me.
But if that's the only reason I sail it's pretty pathetic, isn't it?
3. Burnout. As I mentioned in 2008 I sailed on 94 days in my failed attempt to sail on 100 days in the year. It was fun. It motivated me to sail more and I had some fabulous days on the water. Was it too much? Am I burnt out from too much sailing last year? Maybe.
But surely that can't explain why I (almost) gave up sailing altogether?
4. Community. If I think back to many of the years when I sailed a lot it was partly because I was part of a club, a community, and part of the motivation to sail was to go and have fun with all my friends at the club and to hang out with them afterwards over beer and pizza or whatever. I haven't really established the same strong links to the local sailing community since moving to Rhode Island.
This is entirely my own fault. I need to fix it.
5. One bad experience. Can one bad experience of sailing turn you sour on the sport? You wouldn't think so. But I think my racing on the first day of frostbiting last winter did dull my appetite for racing for a while. Pretty much everything went wrong that day. The wind was nasty and shifty and gusty and chopped-up with vicious slam-dunk headers. There was a huge turnout of sailors on a short course so the start line was too crowded, the mark roundings were too crowded and there was way too much bad-tempered shouting as we played bumper-boats. I tried to make the best of it and write it off as a learning experience but I think it planted a seed deep in my mind that keeps reminding me that racing isn't always fun; sometimes it's just plain frustrating and annoying.
But surely all the hundreds of memories of good days on the race-course would outweigh that one bad day? You would think so.
6. Paralysis by analysis. I have way too much information about the weather. I can see the wind on the bay from my window. I can check multiple websites for real-time wind information and weather forecasts. Uh oh - it's gusting 35 knots at Conimicut Light. Uh oh - the wind is dying in Bristol. Uh oh - the wind in Newport is forecast to die away this afternoon. Too many days I convinced myself that it wasn't a good day for sailing today. So I didn't sail.
7. Too much time. This will sound nuts, I know. But back in the day when I worked for a living I only had certain days I could sail. If I had planned to go frostbiting in Connecticut on Sunday, I went. Never mind if the weather forecast called for rain or snow or no wind or too much wind, I went anyway. It would probably be the only chance I had to sail that week so I went.
Now I'm retired I can sail almost any day I want. So I look at the weather and think maybe tomorrow will be a better day for sailing. But we all know the problem with tomorrow: it never comes.
Yes, I told you it would sound nuts. But I'm just trying to be honest about what went wrong this year.
8. I'm getting old. It's true. Now I'm in my 60's I don't have the same appetite for sailing on days when it's blowing over 30 knots or the temperature is under 30 degrees F. I don't have the same stamina I used to. It takes me longer to recover from a day of vigorous exercise than it used to.
But even so, if that explains why I skipped some days of frostbiting, it doesn't explain why I skipped every day after the first week. It doesn't explain why I hardly sailed all summer.
9. I'm a wimp. Probably
10. All of the above. I think the truth of the matter is that one of these reasons by itself wouldn't have been enough to (almost) turn me off sailing this year. Sailing is part of my identity. None of these things, by themselves, could destroy my love of sailing.
But cumulatively, taken together, I think these factors did (almost) cause me to give up sailing this year.
That's a scary thought.
But recognizing the problem is the first step in fixing it.
Those of you who hang out at Sailing Anarchy may know B.J. Porter. His SA profile says he has made 19200 posts in the forums there! Can that be right?
He also has a blog, Sail Evenstar, where he mainly writes about working on the teak on something called a "1997 Hallberg-Rassy 53" whatever that is. But he has recently bought a real boat, a Laser, and has been learning to sail it which is why he is this week's Laser Sailing Blogger of the Week for his post Humility Lessons. Please do click over to his blog and give him some encouragement.
When rounding the windward mark, steer by heeling to windward and moving your weight aft. Ideally you should execute the turn without using any tiller movement.
What? Is that Tillerman actually getting something right on Day 1 of the Newport Laser frostbiting season? Well, judging by the telltales he should have eased the sheet more, but even so it's not too bad for an old geezer.
OK. Now all you armchair critics can pile in and tell me what else I am doing wrong.
I don't usually like books about ocean cruising. All that guff about the wonderful weeks they spent in the doldrums admiring the thirty seven different shades of green of the ocean; or boasting about how the author went up the mast in fifty knots of wind in the Southern Ocean to fix the lower spritbuckle yardfickle that had got tangled with the toplifting shroudbobbin. It does nothing for me.
Thankfully, Janna Cawrse Esarey's new book isn't really about ocean cruising.
Sure, it's about how Janna decided she wanted to sail around the world after hearing Crosby, Stills & Nash's Southern Cross as a fifteen-year-old, and how she used to use "I'm going to sail around the world one day" as a pickup line for boys. And how she almost made her wish come true when she married a chap called Graeme, who knew a thing or two about boats having come from a family of commercial fishermen, and how Graeme and Janna sailed across the Pacific for their honeymoon.
OK, so Janna and Graeme sailed across the Pacific, and Janna wrote this book about the experience. But the book is not really about sailing. It's about The Relationship. Or, more specifically, Janna's ever-changing view of the state of her marriage with Graeme (starting on the first page with what an "asshole" she thinks he is) as they spend the first months of their marriage cooped up together on a 35 foot boat which is incidentally cruising across the Pacific.
It's at this point in the review where I expect most of my male readers will write off this book as being purely for the chicks. Please don't. First of all, Janna's search for the "Meaning of Wife" is hugely entertaining - even for guys; and secondly, her book will give you new insights into the mystery that is woman (and we could all use some help on that topic.)
So let me introduce our major characters...
Graeme, as I mentioned, grew up with boats and the sea and knows his shit. He has been doing some high-powered corporate stuff where he is renowned as a firefighter, a problem-solver, which is just as well because he is the one that has to solve every minor crisis that our intrepid cruising couple encounters along the way. He is smart, brave, calm, competent, hard-working, and level-headed, and according to Janna "knows her body - her angles and lines, her moans and her hums." (I think we all know what she is talking about here.) In other words, Graeme is just the sort of person you would want to cross an ocean with, not to mention also having all the qualities of a perfect husband (or so you would imagine.)
Janna, on the other hand is a slow learner when it comes to sailing, and is frankly not interested much in acquiring many of the skills that are relevant to crossing an ocean on a small sailboat. Janna writes about how many cruising couples have a division of labor on the boat based on Blue and Pink tasks...
The Blue tasks are all the traditional male things like "engines, electronics, the mechanics of in-mast furlers et cetera." Janna admits that she knows nothing about this stuff, cares nothing about it, and has difficulty learning about it. OK. I guess Graeme can handle that side of thing. He does.
The Pink tasks are traditional female things like cooking, dishes and laundry. Janna confesses that she sucks at cooking, doesn't find any joy or stimulation in most Pink tasks, and as a truly liberated woman avoids Thinking Pink because it "reinforces the stereotype that woman cannot understand engines, electronics, the mechanics of in-mast furlers et cetera." Hmmm. I guess Graeme will have to handle a lot of the Pink stuff too. He does.
Can you see why there might be some tension in this relationship? Wait, it gets worse.
The saintly Graeme is super-efficient and is always actually doing stuff that is useful and necessary on the boat. "He oils and caulks and fills and empties and cuts and connects and tightens and loosens and gaskets and scrapes and solders and screws and maintains and repairs and installs and diagrams and consults and buys." And what does Janna do while Graeme is busy doing useful stuff? She might plait her hair; she might find an Internet cafe and email her girlfriends; she might stick wedding photos in an album. Hmmm.
Can you see why these two might have an occasional disagreement? Wait, it gets worse.
You see Janna is a thinker, an over-thinker actually, a worrier. She is forever questioning the status of the marriage. Have they lost the spark? Are they having enough sex? Is he The One? How do you even know when you've found The One? Should they be having more exotic sex? Is the relationship drifting? Was it a good idea to schedule sex for 3pm every day? And so on. And so on. Asking herself and her long-suffering husband questions like, "When we fall in love with someone is it with their best self? Or their whole self?" Yes sir, women really do think like this.
So while Graeme is steering around typhoons and avoiding pirates and rescuing Janna from rabid dogs, Janna is having all these thoughts about the "Meaning of Wife" and capturing them on her laptop for our future entertainment. Gentlemen, I suspect that what Janna has written about Graeme in this book is much the same thing that all our wives and girlfriends say about us when they get together on a girls night out and spend hours telling each other what assholes their male partners are. Which is why this is such an excellent handbook into the mysterious workings of the female mind.
For example...
What does it mean if you forget to brush your teeth before you go to bed? (Not that I ever would of course.) In her mind, it means you don't find her attractive any more. Didn't know that, did you?
Why does she always take at least half an hour to get ready when you want to go ashore? She's giving you time to read a book and brush your teeth. Didn't know that either did you? I'm telling you, the book is full of gems like this. Dental hygiene is the key to success with women.
Other things you might not know...
When you pee over the side of the boat she is imagining how she is going to fail to rescue you after you fall overboard. This is a sign of how much she loves you.
Women are secretly envious of our ability to pee over the side. When women sailors get together they discuss how a woman can learn to pee standing up. Sometimes they even demonstrate to each other how to do it. Apparently they think this is a turn-on for their husbands. Didn't know that did you?
There's much much more in this field guide for men to the female psyche or "what she is really thinking when she gives you that strange look." Every man should buy a copy of this book. It will make you laugh. It will make you cry. It will make you a better husband or boyfriend. It will remind you to brush your teeth and change your underwear. Seriously.
As I mentioned before, Graeme is as close to being a saint as any dude you will meet in real life. Early on in the book when Janna is having one of her periodic woman-to-man discussions with him about, "How do I know if you are The One?" and "How do you know if love will last? Like forever?" Graeme speaks the truest words of wisdom about marriage in the whole book...
You have to make it the One every day. Through blood, sweat, and tears, laughter, hope, and faith. You don't know (if it will last). You DO. You do the things that will make your relationship good today. And the next day you do it again. And again. And again. The goal isn't simply to have a marriage that lasts. The goal is to create something wonderful, together, every day for the rest of our lives.
You will have to read the whole book to discover whether or not Janna really takes this message to heart, and what shape their marriage was in after their trans-Pacific adventure. Along the way you will learn how Janna found out that "it's not the size of the ship that matters, it's the motion of the ocean." (I think we all know what she is talking about here.)
Oh. And there are some good bits about sailing too.
Full disclosure: I was given a review copy of this book.
Anal-retentive people (such as me) like to-do lists. Writing lists make us feel organized and in control of our lives. Anal-retentive people love feeling in control.
On Monday last week I made a list of my Fitness Goals for Winter 2009/10.
On Tuesday I changed one of the items on my list of fitness goals to make it easier and made a list of 7 Places I Want to Travel to This Winter.
On Wednesday I made a list of 13 Things to Fix on my Boat and a list of 4 Sailing Goals for Winter 2009/10 and a list of 9 Ideas for Future Blog Posts. Wow. Three lists in one day. What a productive day!
I spent most of Thursday playing with my grandkids. Didn't write a single list all day. Felt like a real slacker.
On Friday I went for a long run by the side of the bay. Sure it felt great to be running again after a layoff of several weeks with a back injury and a cough. But I didn't write any lists at all. Two days in a row without writing a single list! Not good!
On Saturday I checked over my boat and trailer to make sure everything was in good order for sailing on Sunday, and collected together all my cold weather sailing gear. I was so distracted with these tasks that I completely forgot to write any lists! Can you believe it? Three days now without writing a list! I'm starting to suffer from withdrawal symptoms.
On Sunday it was the first day of the frostbite season and I went Laser racing. When I arrived home there was a spectacular sunset. Tillerwoman cooked us a delicious dinner and then the Yankees beat the Phillies in game 4 of the World Series. It would have been a perfect day except that I didn't write a single list all day! I felt like a miserable failure. What is the matter with me?
Today I am determined to get back on track with my list writing. No more wasting time with trivial stuff like sailing and having fun with my grandkids. So I crossed 4 things off my list of 13 Things to Fix on my Boat and then I wrote a List of Lists That I Will Write This Week and then I made a List Of All The Lists I Wrote In The Last 8 Days and wrote this blog post. Anal-retentive people get really excited about lists of lists.
When I arrived home from sailing today there was a spectacular sunset. Mount Hope Bridge connects Aquidneck Island (aka Rhode Island) to the mainland at Bristol. For 40 years it was the longest suspension bridge in New England.
Nick Hayes is in love with sailing. He is one of those people who believes that sailing takes us as close to God as we think we might ever be.
But he is troubled. The numbers tell him that sailing in America is in decline. And he wants to understand why something as rich and rewarding as sailing should be losing popularity. More than that: he wants to work out how to save sailing.
So he has studied sailing and sailors and sailing clubs. He has interviewed more than 1,200 sailors worldwide. He has drawn some fascinating conclusions as to why sailing is decline and what we need to do about it, and he has written all about it in his new book, Saving Sailing.
Actually, in the process of pondering what is happening in sailing, Nick has developed some theories about how people choose to use their free time generally, and how to support any challenging but rewarding inter-generational life-long pursuit. His conclusions are as applicable to making music or hunting or knitting as they are to sailing.
Saving Sailing is a book which challenges you to examine many of your own assumptions about our sport. Time and time again as I read it, I found myself thinking, "Hmmm. That's a good point. How does that relate to my experience at that club or that sailing program? Do I agree with his argument or not?" My mind is still buzzing as I mull over the ideas in this book. I suspect I may revisit some of the issues in future blog posts.
A couple of examples...
Nick argues that one of the reasons that an activity like sailing, a "life pastime" as he calls it, is deep and rich and socially meaningful is that it requires more skill and more time commitment than some "time filler" such as watching TV or surfing the web. Paradoxically fewer people are embracing a life pastime because other options are easier; but those of us who are drawn to a life pastime, like sailing, do so even though it is hard - or perhaps partly because it is hard. Nick concludes that, "If sailors hope that sailing will survive and grow, they won't try and convince others that it is easy. They will rightly call sailing what it is: difficult, time-consuming, evolving, sometimes risky and always worth it." Quite a controversial stance. One that our new president of US Sailing doesn't seem to have embraced (yet).
As someone who was once involved in teaching junior sailing classes, I have always seen the large number of kids involved in junior sailing programs as a healthy sign for the future of our sport. Nick, however, is skeptical about this view. He sees that the vast majority of kids, even those who go on to college sailing, eventually drop sailing from their lives after they graduate college and find more important things to take sailing's place, things like a career and wife and kids. He also sees that, for many families, sailing is just another one of those activities like baseball and ballet and soccer where the parents drop off their kid for some lessons, Mum and Dad are not involved themselves in their kid's sailing, and indeed they often don't even understand what the kid's sport is all about.
After ranging far and wide (and deep) and analyzing the decline in sailing from all angles, Nick develops a set of recommendations for attacking the problem based on a model of mentoring across generations, preferably within the family. He is a strong believer in parents investing in skills so as to be able to transfer skills, in parents doing things with their children not just for them, in parents making difficult time choices in order to share time with their kids in their chosen life pastime.
His vision is compelling. I have seen at least one sailing club where it is working superbly well. I am not totally convinced that Nick's vision is the only way to save sailing, but his book certainly stimulates the reader to think through all these issues.
I would recommend the book to anyone concerned about the future of sailing. If you are a parent who would like your kids to sail you should read the book; it could change your whole approach to sailing as a family. If you are in any kind of leadership position in a sailing club or a community sailing organization, then you should buy some copies of this book for all the officers of your group, read it, and then discuss as a group how you are going to use the ideas presented to improve your program. If, like me, you are just some old dude who loves sailing as much as Nick does, then you should read the book to rouse yourself to work out what you can do to make sure that our sport doesn't decline any more.
Nick's analysis of these issues is interspersed in the book with anecdotes about different people's experiences of sailing - some good, some not so good. (I'm assuming that the characters in these tales are fictional but based on reality.) As the book progresses we slowly discover that many of the people in these stories are actually connected with each other, and that Nick is writing about a complex web of relationships across genders, generations and ethnicities, a web in which memories are created and passed on and in which one generation mentors the next.
And now for a surprising coincidence and a hopeful sign...
I read the last one of these sailing anecdotes in Nick's book on Monday. It was the final link in the chain of connections between all the characters, but historically it was the earliest story. It was a tale about the seminal incident that had sent ripples of relationships and memories and teaching across families and across generations. It was a story about a sailing race in a Thistle about fifty years ago. A guy whose name began with E. took his young daughter and her best school friend out sailing. Immediately after reading this chapter of the book I turned to my computer and saw that my friend Edward had just posted Sailing Camp on SF Bay, an account of a sail he had with his daughter and her friend and how they were having fun learning about sailing.
I think Nick Hayes would approve. Edward is doing his bit to save sailing. There is hope. Sailing does have a future.
Full disclosure: I was given a review copy of Saving Sailing.
Gary Jobson is a good guy (he used to be a Laser sailor) but I can't agree with what he just said. He was recently elected president of US Sailing and it was reported that in his acceptance speech he said, "We want to make sailing safe, easy, and fair."
Easy? I don't want sailing to be easy. It wouldn't be any fun if it were easy.
Watching TV is easy. Mowing the lawn is easy. Chatting with friends on Facebook is easy.
Sailing is difficult. That's what makes it so engaging. I have spent half a lifetime just trying to learn the skills to race one relatively simple boat as well as I can, and I still feel that I have so much to learn. It's the challenge of trying to learn something that is difficult and then attempting to use my hard-won skills that keeps me involved. I don't want sailing to be easy.
Having written the above I decided that, to be fair, I ought to watch the full video of Gary's speech. It is true that the context of his first remark about "making sailing easy" does leave open the possibility that what he actually meant to say was that he wants to make access to the water easy. And then later in the speech he gives three other examples of things about sailing he would like to make easier: handicaps, racing rules and measurement. So maybe I shouldn't blame Gary for that sound bite of, "we want to make sailing safe, easy, and fair." Maybe we should blame the PR person who wrote the press release.
Whatever. US Sailing should not be trying to give the impression that they are going to make sailing easy. It ain't easy. And I, for one, don't want it to be easy.
