Unintended Consequences

Some times people actually think I mean what I say on this blog. Today I was faced with a perfect example.



My regular readers, both of you, will remember that back in May of 2010 I wrote a few posts feigning an interest in powerboats.

Captain JP was partly to blame, starting it all of with a post telling us sailors that powerboats really aren't as bad as we had been told - A Message to all Sailors.

My younger son was even more to blame. He had actually bought a powerboat and was tempting me to go over with him to the Dark Side.

So I went powerboating with my son one weekend and wrote about it at Top Ten Reasons Why Powerboats Are Better Than Sailboats. As I said, I don't always write what I mean, or mean what I write. I think those fancy schmancy literary critics call that "irony."

I wrote a few other powerboat posts that month including this one - Best Powerboat Blog on the Planet. That post included this picture of a rather sexy looking powerboat.

One unintended consequence (honestly) of publishing that post is that if you google "best powerboat blog on the planet" at the top of the search results you will still find…. Proper Course. Oops!



Another unintended consequence was an email I received today. It was from a production supervisor at a film company. They have a client who wants to shoot a commercial next month that will feature some powerboats racing on the water. They were thinking of something like this…

or maybe this...

or even this…

Wait a minute? Isn't that last one the same boat that was in my 2010 post about best powerboat blog on the planet?

I think it is.

And that is why the film company contacted me today. They had seen that post of mine and naturally they thought I would be the perfect person to help them find some "state of the art or even next generation (almost futuristic looking)" powerboats to use in their commercial.



Oh dear!

I had to write the man a nice email explaining that my posts about powerboats back in 2010 were meant to be ironic, that I am really a totally rabid sailing purist and have even written several other posts on my blog ranting on about the evils of putting engines in boats. And that I would very much NOT be the best person to help his client locate the boats they want.

He took it quite well.



I still can't get over the fact that some people think I mean what I say on this blog.

Do the Math

Can anyone explain to me what this means?

Is this the secret formula for Laser boat speed?

Originally posted here.

Birthday Lunch

Today is Tillerwoman's birthday.

She's 29 (I think.)

She said she wanted to go out for lunch and have some oysters.

Her wish was granted.

1. Can any of my clever readers identify what kind of oysters these are?

2. Where they are from?

3. What did I have to drink?

4. What else did Tillerwoman have for lunch?

5. What was the topic of the conversation at the the table behind me?

6. Where is the nearest sailing club?

Team Racing - Am I Missing Out?

Here is a slide that was shown at the US Sailing Sailing Leadership Forum (USSSLF) in San Diego this weekend.

I wasn't there. I stole this picture from Scuttlebutt on Twitter.



Why is team racing so appealing?

I must admit I have never really taken much interest in it before.

Perhaps because I have always felt that there's no "me" in team.

I know US college sailors do it and it always seemed a bit esoteric not to say kinky.



We tried it once or twice with Sunfish on New Jersey lakes and discovered that

• the fastest sailors always win
• lake sailing is all about shifts and puffs
• maybe we were missing the point?

But somebody at USSSLF says it's social and has high racing "value" (whatever that means) and it builds camaraderie (I like camarades) and even a good loss is fun (I know all about that!)

So perhaps I have been missing out.

Perhaps I should try team racing this year?

Opportunity of a Lifetime for a Sailing Blogger

OK, all you watery blogger/ social media fiends.

Here is the opportunity of a lifetime.

Do you want to sail for two months on a genuine 19th century whaling ship this summer AND get paid a stipend to blog and make videos and post on social media about it?

If so, then head over to 38th Voyage Stowaway and apply to be the "stowaway" on the 38th voyage of the 1841 whaleship the Charles W. Morgan, the last wooden whaleship in the world and America's oldest commercial vessel still afloat.

Is this a dream job or what?

Go for it!

Fish on Fridays

This giant jellyfish, about 5 feet across, was found on a beach in Tasmania recently. According to the report on the BBC website, it is a species that has been seen before but has not yet been named or classified.

How to Burn Calories… Fast

Snowy Day Laser Sailor Blues

Bob Dylan sailing some boat that's not a Laser

Oh, the Tillerman writes his nonsense
Up and down his blog.
You'd ask him what the matter is
But you know he's such a dog.
Yet the sailors treat him kindly
And they all give him a break
But deep inside his heart
He knows he's just a fake.
Oh, Mama, can this really be the end
To be stuck inside of Newport
With the Laser blues again?


Well Judy she's going to Mexico
With her hiking boots and her hats
Speaking to some Canadian
Who will teach her how to sail fast.
Maybe I should do a clinic
To learn those downwind moves
But I'm shoveling all this snow
And I'm running out of booze.
Oh, Mama, can this really be the end
To be stuck inside of Newport
With the Laser blues again?


Meka tried to tell me
To stay away from the Clif Bars.
She said they're full of sugar
That will put inches on my arse.
And I said "Oh I didn't know that
But then again I don't know shit
About nutrition and diet and vitamins
And stuff that makes you fit."
Oh, Mama, can this really be the end
To be stuck inside of Newport
With the Laser blues again?


Petey died last week
And now he's buried in the rocks
But everybody still talks about
How badly they were shocked.
But me, I expected it to happen
I knew he'd rile the nuts
When he fought to clean  the river
And make it safe for ducks.
Oh, Mama, can this really be the end
To be stuck inside of Newport
With the Laser blues again?


Now the fleet captain came down here
Showing videos from his GoPro
Handing out free tickets
To the Providence Boat Show
And me, I nearly got convinced
And wouldn't he have sniffed
If I had spent thirteen thousand dollars
And bought that RS100 skiff?
Oh, Mama, can this really be the end
To be stuck inside of Newport
With the Laser blues again?


Now the horse he looked so baffled
When I asked him why he dressed
The ladies with their fishes
And nothing on their chests.
But he cursed me when I proved it to him
Then I whispered, "Not even you can hide
You see, you're just like me
I hope you're satisfied."
Oh, Mama, can this really be the end
To be stuck inside of Newport
With the Laser blues again?


Now Doug, he gave me two cures
When he said, "Your sailing's such a shambles."
The one was hiking workouts
The other was sailing angles
And like a fool I mixed them
And it tangled up my mind
And now, my tacks just get uglier
And I have no sense of time.
Oh, Mama, can this really be the end
To be stuck inside of Newport
With the Laser blues again?


Then Baydog says come see him
In his Barnegat lagoon
Where I can watch him sail for free
'Neath his New Jersey moon.
And I say, "Aw come on now
You know I sail a Laser,"
And he says, "You'd better sail a scow
And buy a fancy blazer."
Oh, Mama, can this really be the end
To be stuck inside of Newport
With the Laser blues again?


Now the snow lays on Thames Street
Where the frostbite madmen quaff.
They tell their lies so perfectly
I really shouldn't scoff.
And here I sit so patiently
Waiting to find out what price
You have to pay to just once
Win a race in all this ice.
Oh, Mama, is this really the end
To be stuck inside of Newport
With the Laser blues again?

Snow in Newport and nobody sailing a Laser

Apologies to Bob Dylan for mangling his lyrics.

And apologies also to Judy, Doug, Baydog, Meka Taulbee, the anonymous fleet captain of the MYC Sunfish Fleet, Pete Seeger and Joe Rouse for taking their names in vain. And thanks to them for being good sports and teaching me so much about sailing and blogging and cooking and fitness and banjo playing and how to appreciate pictures of ladies in tiny bikinis holding big fishes.

Ice Breakers

I didn't sign up for frostbiting this year. I thought I would take one winter off and return to Laser racing in the Spring with even more enthusiasm than usual.

On the other hand, I did go out for some solo practice on my Laser on a couple of days in January in Rhode Island.

And I can't help reading the accounts and looking at the pictures and videos of the sailors who are braving the elements to race Lasers or Sunfish through the winter here in the north-eastern United States.



The sea has been freezing over in some places. Here is what it looked like at Sea Cliff YC on Long Island on Saturday.

Photo posted on Twitter by @wetpantssailing

But all that ice didn't deter the hardy Sunfish sailors on Long Island.

Here is a video of the Sunfish frostbiting at Sea Cliff yesterday - Superbowl Sunday. The video is from the YouTube Channel of sunfish82634 and was also posted by Lee.J.Montes to Facebook. (I have a sneaking suspicion that sunfish82634 and @wetpantssailing and Lee.J.Montes may actually know each other quite well.)

"Neither ice nor snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night stays these sailors from the swift completion of their appointed rounds." I think that's how the quotation goes, isn't it?

I have never done frostbite racing in Sunfish but I have broken through ice to go Sunfish sailing on a few occasions on New Jersey lakes.

Long-time readers of my blog (both of you) might also like to know that the beach in the video is exactly the same place that we launched from on the day I wrote about at Turkeys and Chickens. The conditions were different on that day. There was no ice and the air was full of flying koalas. At least that's what I wrote in my post.

Watching this video made me quite nostalgic for both Sunfish sailing and frostbite racing.

If I actually try to do anything rash based on either of the aspirations in that last sentence… please shoot me.

The Beer Run

Beer and Laser sailing go together like… like… like…

I dunno. Insert your own favorite metaphor for what goes well together.



Good race committees know this. They will have beer on board for the sailors to drink….

After the races on the way back to the club.

Between races.

During races. Yes, I have even sailed one Laser regatta where you are served beer during a race.



But what if the beer runs out?

That would be terrible.

It could ruin the whole day.



Thankfully, technology now has the answer.

Beer delivery to the race course by drone.

Check out the video….



Hey, if they can do it for ice fishers they can do it for Laser sailors.

You wouldn't need to involve the RC or those annoying Mommy boats. Just dial up a drone to deliver a case of beer on a little raft to the coordinates of the pin end of the finishing line and all the thirsty Laser sailors could help themselves.



What will they think of next?