So what are you doing for Mothers Day this weekend?
What? How do you get away with that? Why don't you go and visit your Mom?
My mother lives in England, and so does my mother-in-law. I live in New Jersey. It's hardly practical to drop in and visit them on Sunday. Not since they scrapped Concorde anyway. In any case it isn't Mothers Day in England - it's a different day over there.
OK. So where are you going sailing?
I'm planning to do the May Madness Laser Regatta at Quannapowitt Yacht Club in Massachusetts on Saturday.
Wait a minute - you said you live in New Jersey. Why are you driving all the way to Massachusetts for a regatta? Aren't there any regattas nearer home?
Yes there are regattas nearer home. Some years I do the Philadelphia Laser Championship at Marsh Creek Sailing Club. But if I go to see my son in Massachusetts I also get to see my gorgeous granddaughter again and I can race in Lasers with my son for the first time since he was in high school ten years ago. Do you want to see a picture of my granddaughter?
Wow - she's beautiful. I see your point. So if you're racing on Saturday I guess that on Sunday you and your son will spend Mothers Day with your wives, he will be with his mother for Mothers Day and you will be able to help your daughter-in-law celebrate her first Mothers Day?
Nope - my son and I are thinking of sailing at this club near his home.
Hey - check that website again - that club isn't racing because it's Mothers Day. At least some sailors have some respect for Mothers Day.
Damn. I see you're right... hang on, the phone's ringing.
My son just called while I was writing this. He says we will go down to the lake and practice anyway.
You guys are nuts.
You can't blame my son. He can't help it. It's genetic.