Friday, February 13, 2009

North Rocks

Last month I wrote about the North Sails Victory List, a list on the North Sails website where the say they will honor every sailor who came in the top three in a regatta last year in North America using their sails. And they even promise to send a free hat to any of these worthy sailors.

But, dear reader, everything is not what it seems. There is not a single Laser sailor on that list, even though 99% of North American Laser sailors use North sails. And for that matter there aren't any Sunfish sailors either, even though 100% of Sunfish racing sails are made by North.

So I got angry. I got so angry that I sent North the details of my crushing victory in the Laser regatta on Lake Whippersnapper last year using the web form kindly provided on their site at the Get your free hat! link. When nothing happened I did it a second time. And both times I clicked on the box that said "Please add me to the Victory List".

Every day since, one of my first tasks at the computer has been to check the Victory List. Hands trembling with excitement, I clicked on the link to the Victory List every morning. Sometimes I did it before breakfast. When would my name appear?

Never, it seems. No mention. Not yet anyway. Pure discrimination against sailors of little boats.

Then this week a small box arrived in the mail from Annapolis, US postage 3 dollars and 4 cents. Inside was a nice letter from THE NORTH SAILS TEAM saying "Thank you again for adding your name to our Victory List."

Hmmm. Nice touch guys. I especially like that "again".

Also in the box were...

  • a flier about North Gear such as flip-flops and something called a "camp shirt"

  • some publicity material about the Open Bic

  • an ad for North Sails Racing Rules seminars

  • a DVD with a promotional video for North Sails

  • a North Sails sticker

  • an orange card about NorBucks whatever they are

  • three large gold discs with the North Sails logo, which I thought at first might be the mysterious NorBucks but which turned out to be chocolates wrapped in gold paper

  • and.... a rather elegant tan-colored North Sails racer hat. The hat. The very special hat only awarded to winners of regattas using North Sails sails.

I got my hat!!!

Yippeeee!!!

North Rocks.

13 comments:

Dr. One said...

Post a picture so we can all start photoshopping you and Edward together on a tugboat, or something.

tillerman said...

Oh no. This hat is much too precious to actually wear. It's going on my trophy shelf along with the wishbone from the turkey I won at the Turkey Regatta one Thanksgiving, the model of a Pelican I won for coming First Garandmaster (sic) in a Laser District Championship, and the little boat I won for Sunfish Mature Adult Second Place at Sea Isle City one year.

I think the Mature Adult trophy is my most treasured possession.

O Docker said...

This is so sad.

A grown man, literate, and respected in his community, reduced to this.

I think we've just found another way to make fun of sailors.

EVK4 said...

Congratulations. Who is the most mature adult in Sea Isle City? Is it "that guy"?

That hat has to be worn or it will never turn pink. And don't think pictures of the hat for photoshopping aren't available.

Aloha.

Second Most Mature Adult said...

Hmmm. It was in 2002 that I was voted Second Most Mature Adult in Sea Isle City. I really don't recall who the Most Mature Adult was that year. It wasn't the That Guy of whom I rant on my blog because he is a New England Laser sailor and back in 2002 I was racing against New Jersey Sunfish sailors.

O Docker said...

When I was in New Jersey, back in the 70's, a lot of the most mature adults tended to be in the olive oil business.

For one reason or another, no one guy managed to stay 'the most mature' for very long.

EVK4 said...

do a quick search for "most mature person on earth"....you'd be amazed how many people on Internet claim that they're *not* that person. I will point out that Tillerman never makes that claim however. He must have some deep seeded competitive issues with the winner of the Sea Isle Regatta.....

Second Most Mature Adult said...

I am way too mature to respond to the previous two comments and I have a trophy to prove it.

Mal's Team Gherkin said...

if at first you don't succeed, whinge and whinge again! lol

Anonymous said...

I responded to the Victory List. Twice. I did miss the part about having to use North sails though. Where's that part at? Whirlwind/Ullman on a Hobie 21 if you must know.

Charles

Pat said...

It is a far, far better thing to be the most mature adult, or even the second most mature adult in a regatta or a community, than to be the most manure adult. Now there's a trophy not to keep with your most treasured possessions.

Carol Anne said...

Do "deep seeded competitive issues" have to do with not making the top slots in a tournament bracket? Or is it about a crop that has to be planted fairly far below the surface of the soil in order to grow properly?

Tillerman said...

Good point Carol Anne. I wasn't going to make fun of Edward for his mistake but I'm glad you did.

Post a Comment