Tuesday, January 31, 2012

The Two Things

Have you played the Two Things game?

According to Glenn Whitman, it's based on the assumption that for every subject, there are only two things you really need to know. Everything else is the application of those two things, or just not important.

Some of my favorite ones...

The Two Things about Software Engineering
1. There is no such thing as bug-free software.
2. Adding manpower to a late project makes it later.
-Tim Lee

The Two Things about Web programming (as it is mostly done in the real world)
1) Control-C
2) Control-V

The Two Things about Biology
1. Evolution is the process through which genetic structures that are better equipped to reproduce viable copies will tend to proliferate.
2. Except for the Platypus.

The Two Things about Medicine
1. Do no harm.
2. To do any good, you must risk doing harm.

The Two Things about Civil Engineering
1. Dirt + Water = Mud.
2. You can’t push a rope.
-Todd Grotenhuis

So next time you meet someone who has a different occupation from you, or who knows something about a subject you are unfamiliar with... ask them about The Two Things.

This meme caught my eye when I stumbled across it on the Interwebs today, because right at the end of my recent trip to Cabarete to spend 5 days trying to improve my Laser sailing, someone explained to me The Two Things about Laser Sailing. But before I reveal this secret, I would like to hear in the comments what you think are The Two Things about Sailing (or about whatever other watery perversion you favor.)

Go for it.


Captain Roger & XO said...

1.The wind is always blowing hard directly from your destination
2.Except when there is no wind

Tillerman said...

Nice one Roger. Thank you for that.

But I don't think that will be the last word because The Two Things about the Two Things are...

1. People love to play the Two Things game
2. But they rarely agree about what the Two Things are.

Sunfish Lounger said...

1. Beer
2. Rum

Tillerman said...

LOL. Also true!

JP said...

1. There's either too much wind or not enough
2. If there are two boats sailing in roughly the same direction, they're racing.

Tillerman said...

From SailingEurope on Twitter...

1. You will bump your head eventually 2. Your cell phone will fall into the water eventually

Kent Pulliam said...

1. If it can break, it will.
2. You won't die saying: "I wish I had not gone sailing as much."

Tillerman said...

Nice ones Kent. Thanks very much.

Chris Stahl said...

From my younger, dinghy racing days:

1. Keep the pointy side up (mast & sail that is) unless it is sail camp, no wind, and hot as blazes.

2. Tiller towards trouble

Though I am beginning to like Sunfish Lounger's ideas more.

O Docker said...

Two things about attaining happiness in life:

1. Marry the best spouse, find the best job, live in the best house, drive the best car, drink the best wine.

2. If you learn to sail, you can forget about #1.

O Docker said...

Two things about attaining happiness in sailing:

1. Keep the pointy side up and the shiny side down.

2. If you sail a Laser, you can forget about #1.

Tillerman said...

Oh well. I suppose I should count myself lucky that we got to the 11th comment before someone started using this challenge to take cheap shots at Laser sailors.

Jos said...

We also assume that one can do precisely two things with a sailboat: one can either furl the sail, in which case the wind does not propel the sailboat at all, or one can unfurl the sail, in order to exploit the force of the wind.


bonnie said...

1. Never paddle alone.
2. I take the fifth.

bonnie said...

2.5 if the fifth is rum, that's even better.

cf., Sunfish Lounger, point 2

BlueVark said...

The Two Things about Laser Sailing:

1. Hike harder!
2. Enjoy swimming.

PeconicPuffin said...

In windsurfing it's:

You need to sheet in.

You need more downhaul.

Howard Miller said...

1. there is always better wind on the other side of the course.

2. You should have remained on the other side of the course.

Tillerman said...

The Two Things about Sailboat Racing

1. Win the start
2. Extend your lead.

JP said...

Two things about racing:

1) go fast

2) finish

Tillerman said...

The two things about the start in sailboat racing...

1. Every boat should strive to have their bow 6 inches ahead of the boats either side of them.

2. Nobody should be over the line

Tillerman said...

Earwigoagin has come up with his own The Two Things about Sailing at http://earwigoagin.blogspot.com/2012/02/tillermans-latest-challenge.html.


1. You will get wet
2. You will go slow

Baydog said...

1. I never come off of my boat without having bled once...
2. And if I do, there are plenty of opportunities on the dock.

PeconicPuffin said...

Just remembered the first two things I was taught:

1. When it's windy, you sail.
2. Gear breaks.

Tillerman said...

1. Duck!
2. Ouch!

Noodle said...

There are two things in life. The first one is sailing. The other one is all about creating life.

SailFarLiveFree said...

The two things about cruising on a sailboat:

1. It's all about the journey, not the destination.
2. If the destination is the South Pacific, ignore #1.

Tillerman said...

This is great. 27 comments so far. (And, unusually, less than half are from me.)

Keep them coming!

PeconicPuffin said...

Bravo Sail Far Live Free!

Tillerman said...

The Two Things about Sailboat Racing...

1. You can never beat that guy.
2. Even if that guy isn't racing today you can never beat that other guy.

Camille said...

1. You can't sail directly into the wind.

2. Stay on the high side in a high wind.

Camille said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Blake said...

1. The wind and water usually only tolerate our presence
2. But every once in a while they let us play with them – which is why we keep coming back.

1. The wind and water always win.
2. Because they know it is only a game.

Hugh said...

The Two Things about kiteboarding:
1. Keep the kite out of the water.
2. Don't keep the board in the water.

my2fish said...

well, I'm way late to this party, and my contribution isn't about water, but it's one of my favorites... maybe because I'm an engineer (nerd) by day?

there are 10 types of people in the world.
those who understand binary, and those that don't.

PeconicPuffin said...

This is nonsense riffing off of the duct tape/WD40 paradigm, which was proved false by the discovery of the Higgs Boson. So I refer you to Jack Palance in City Slickers, who teaches us that you (we) need to know only one thing.

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