Life Without a Brain

I'd like to be a jelly fish
Cause jellyfish don't pay rent
They don't walk, they don't talk
With some Euro-trash accents

They're just simple protoplasm
Clear as cellophane
They ride the winds of fortune
Life without a brain

Gentlemen Start Your Engines

Gentlemen (and ladies) start your (search) engines.

It's now officially Friday at Proper Course World Headquarters, so feel free to use search engines to help you with my Inspirational Quotes Quiz. I suspect most of the answers are out there on the Interwebs somewhere but I don't guarantee it. I didn't use the Web at all in generating the quiz. Instead I found all the quotations in some dusty old objects I found in my basement. They are called "books" I believe. Some of my older readers may remember them. So you may well discover that The Google thinks that several of the quotes are from... some blog called Proper Course. Good luck!

Only one guess per person on Friday please. Let's give everyone a chance to get one right.

Hurricane Igor

Stolen from Regattaholic on Facebook.

Quote of the Day

"I think we may be moving towards a world where there are two different groups of people enjoying the outdoors. Those with a photo of a flower on their phones, and those who have smelled the flower." - Tristan Gooley (The Natural Navigator)

If I had seen this quotation yesterday I would surely have included it in my Quotes Quiz. Tristan is not a Luddite and is not making the point that technology has no place in supporting the lives of those of us who enjoy nature; but he is saying that our technical gizmos can interfere with our interaction with and enjoyment of nature if used inappropriately. More at Technology and Nature Debate.

I have been following Tristan's Natural Navigator blog for some time and am looking forward to reading his book, recently released in America. Watch this space for a review soon.

Meanwhile, nobody has come up with any answers to my Quotes Quiz yet. So go over there and have a shot.

Inspirational Quotes Quiz

Who said it?

1. The art of winning is not in winning, but in winning so that the rest of fleet are pleased you have won.

2. It will give an idea of my approach to sailing when I say I measure distance in bottles of liquor.

3. Training accumulates. It's like money in the bank.

4. Let this be your motto - Rely on yourself!
For, whether the prize be a ribbon or throne,
The victor is he who can go it alone!

5. Success is simply the extension and utilization of an an entire series of failures.

6. Starting a boat in a large fleet is like playing Russian roulette with five bullets instead of one. One mistake and the finish is very quick.

7. In life, as in surfing, there are waves that if you dare to ride them will kill you, and there are waves that will give you the ride of your life... All we are really doing in our short time on this big round ball is paddling around trying to figure out which ones are which.

8. If there is one characteristic which all winners share, it is impatience with, and intolerance for, losing.

9. I had been sailing for years before I realized that most people with boats are liars.

10. Oh what a luxury it be
how exquisite, what perfect bliss
so ordinary yet chic
to pee to piss to take a leak.

A few rules...

a) Answers in the comments please.

b) No using search engines before Friday. See quote #1.

c) Only one answer per person before Friday.

d) One additional answer per person on Friday.

e) Then it's a free-for-all.

Don't be an asshole and spoil the quiz for everyone else by using the Google to answer all the questions within the first hour or two like the first commenter on this quiz.

Rule 4

Rule 4 of the Racing Rules of Sailing says, "The responsibility for a boat’s decision to participate in a race or to continue racing is hers alone."

I always thought that this was pretty straightforward but having read some recent discussions on the topic, I'm not so sure. How do you make the decision whether to race or not when wind and wave conditions are challenging, maybe at the borderline or beyond the point at which you are confident in your sailing abilities in those conditions? What criteria do you apply?

Do the actions of the race committee have any bearing on your decision to race? Do you assume that if they decided that the conditions are OK for racing, then it's OK for you to race? And how does the availability of safety boats affect your decision? If there are plenty of safety/ rescue boats around does that mean you are more likely to go out and race even if you think the conditions are well beyond your abilities and you might well get into trouble? And what about the decisions of your fellow competitors? If your closest competition in a series is going out to race, then are you more motivated to go out and race in winds that might be too heavy for you? Or perhaps if they don't race do you figure you can put some good scores on the board against them and so you decide to chance it?

It's complicated...

Of course we all know that in a perfect world we would all rationally assess the current conditions, and weigh any forecast change in those conditions, and take an objective perspective of our own and our crew's experience and fitness and skill levels, and then make an intelligent, logical choice. But in the real world, our emotions and competitive juices and peer pressure all come into play.

It's complicated...

If I think back as to how I have made this decision in the past, then I think I certainly have been guilty of making the assumption that if the race committee are prepared to run races, then it must be OK for me to go out and race. On some of those occasions I have certainly found myself racing my Laser in winds and/or waves that were beyond my ability to sail properly and, more importantly, stay upright for most of the time. But then, if you never go out and challenge yourself in conditions that are beyond your current ability then how will you ever learn to sail in those conditions? And I also confess that, on those days, I have been thinking that it's a lot safer to go out and sail in extreme conditions when there are lots of other Lasers and a safety boat or two around in case I really get into trouble, than it is to go and do it all on my own with nobody else around.

Having said that, I also have a certain pride in my own independence and self-sufficiency that I never want to deliberately be racing in situations where I am going to need the safety boat crew to help me perform a capsize recovery or, horror-of-horrors, tow me back to the shore because I am too tired or too incompetent to perform those tasks myself. I look on the safety boats as insurance in case something totally unexpected happens, like a breakage to the boat that makes it impossible to sail, or for that matter a breakage to me that makes me impossible to sail.

So the number of times I have actually had to rely on a safety boat to get me home safely in 30 years of Laser racing can be counted on the fingers of one hand. There was the time at Wianno YC when my boom broke, and the time at Cedar Point YC when my gooseneck broke. I can't remember any other racing incidents that caused me to need a tow home (not counting the times when I have been happy to accept a tow when the wind dies at the end of the day.) I have broken a mast top section and broken a bottom section and somehow got myself home without assistance. I have broken my rudder and staggered home under my own power. I have cut my head open during a gybe and nearly chopped my finger off with the daggerboard, but still sailed back to the beach by myself. I guess that may be taking the philosophy of self-reliance a bit too far. But that's how I am. I hate to rely on the crash boats unless I really have to.

The times that I have chosen not to participate in racing are principally of two kinds. There have been many, many, (probably too many) occasions I confess when I have looked at the weather forecast or the weather at home on the morning of racing and have thought, "Nah. Too windy. Too cold. Too rainy. Who needs it?" But if I actually travel to the club then I almost always go out and start racing if the RC is running races. However I do apply Rule 4 quite frequently at the end of a day's racing. There have been numerous occasions after a long day of racing in windy conditions, perhaps including several capsizes (which always seem to sap my strength and confidence) that I have decided that enough is enough and headed for the beach. More often than not it's because I'm so tired that I start to feel that after one or two more capsizes I might actually be too bushed to right the boat on my own. And I'm damned if I'm going to ask the rescue boat to help me with that responsibility. That streak of pride and self-reliance thing again, I guess.

So there have been many occasions when I have looked at the wind and the water before leaving the shore and thought, "It looks crazy out there. I'm not sure I can handle this." But I have always gone out with the attitude, "Hey, I'll just try one race and come in if it gets too much for me." And on some of those days I have sailed all the races that day and come in with a big smile on my face. And on others I have skipped the last one or two races and still come in with a big smile on my face. After all, if you don't come back with a big smile on your face then why are you doing it?

So how about you? How do you apply Rule 4?

Para Sailin'

This post is not about para sailing.

It's about a certain person who seems to be all over the media - TV, radio, print, Internet - in America these days. You just can't get away from her.

She used to be the governor of one of those minor US states. The one that's attached to the top left-hand corner of Canada. The one with lots of reindeer and hardly any people. But, after a couple of years, whatshername got tired of actually governing all those reindeer and quit to become a TV and Internet personality. Or something.

Back in 2008 she ran in some election for a job in Washington which, as far as I can tell, would have involved her waiting around for some 72-year-old cancer survivor to kick the bucket so she could take over the job of being leader of the Western world. Amazingly, the American people said thanks, but no thanks, to whatshername and her 72-year-old BFF, and instead chose a couple of those intellectual elite types just because they were better at answering tricky questions from the lamestream media like, "What newspapers do you read?"

So now she is a TV and Internet personality. Most Americans feel strongly about her, for or against. She has a talent for using words that stir up trouble and attract attention. Attention to her. Which apparently is her main objective.

Everyone who makes a living talking about politics on the web or on TV in America seems to be fascinated by whatshername. They are like moths attracted to a flame. They can't resist talking about whatshername. The reason is that the more they talk about whatshername the more clicks and viewers they attract.

But America is suffering from Whatshername Overload. And the pundits (or pundints as whatshername would say) are finally getting wise to the problem. People are making resolutions not to mention whatshername. There's even a grassroots movement among the lamestream media pundints to declare February a whatshername-free month.

But what can we ordinary folk from real America do? How can we play our part in whatshername-free month?

Well, the best suggestion I have heard is that whenever someone brings up the name S---- P---- in conversation you should immediately launch into a monologue about how exciting it is to be towed behind a fast motor boat while suspended from a parachute, and how much fun you had doing it last time your were in St. Barts, Sint Maarten, Saint-Tropez (or wherever you favorite Saint Somewhere is), and how you really must try it darling, and so on, and so on...

After about five minutes you should pause for breath and look at all the puzzled faces and say, "Oh! Did you say Sarah Palin? I thought you said Para Sailing."

Oh shit!

I mentioned her name.

And I was trying so hard not to.

F#*$.

Win Laser 200000

In the fall of last year the Laser Class Office in England issued the first set of plaques with sail numbers over 200000, which means that Lasers with sail numbers over this milestone are probably already shipping somewhere in the world. Has anybody seen one sailing yet?

Woo Hoo! 200,000 Lasers! That means more than 200,000 Laser sailors! Maybe I'm not crazy after all?

But wait, it gets better. For now, the boat with the actual number 200000 has not yet been sold, and the Laser Class has arranged a contest where YOU can win the complete Laser with sail number 200000.

Entering the contest is very simple: you need to join the Laser Class (assuming you are not already a member) and you need to be able to answer one simple question.

So get over to WIN A BRAND NEW LASER and enter now.

Winter Puzzle

It's too frigging cold for most of us to sail this weekend, so to pass the time here's a photo quiz that combines sailing and cold.

All you need to do is tell me what these two pictures depict. Give me as much information as possible - when, what, who, where...

Then tell me what the connection between these two scenes is.

Good luck!

If you know the full answer please send it via email to me. If you are just making a wild ass guess by all means use the comments.

Update: I already have one completely correct solution via email so perhaps this quiz isn't as hard as I thought. On the other hand my correspondent does reveal that he has met the individual who links the two pictures. Ooops that's a clue, I guess.

Update 2: We have a second winner, the unparalleled O Docker, fresh from his podium place on Sweet Bluesette's Winter Doldrums Contest. And he didn't even meet the "missing link" person. I'll wait a little longer to see if anyone else gets it before revealing the answer.

Update 3: OK, three people have emailed me with the correct answer now. You guys are so smart.

The first photo is of the O-Jolle Class racing in the 1936 Olympics at Kiel in Germany.

The second photo is of the Scott Polar Expedition taken shortly after reaching the South Pole on January 17, 1912 and discovering that Amundsen had beaten them there. On the return trip, Scott and his four companions all died of starvation and extreme cold.

The winner of the bronze medal in the O-Jolle class at the 1936 Olympics, sailing for Britain, was Peter Scott, perhaps more famous in later years as an ornithologist, conservationist and painter. Peter Scott was the son of Robert Scott, the leader of the Antarctic expedition in the other photo.

Tilapia

Thai designer Chatrukal Na Ayudhaya has innovated a sort of leather of the sea, using fish skin to create a new line of accessories including this fish bikini which is made from the skins of 15 tilapia.

It is reported to be very breathable and waterproof. At least that's what the tilapia say.

How klassy is that?