No, no, no. I'm not angling for you to say that Proper Course is the most pointless blog in the world. Please read on and contain your anger at me for a while.
This whole blogging thing is pretty pointless, when you think about it. Sure, sure, sure, there are some blogs about science and history and the environment and so on that are worthy and educational. Political blogs help to stir the pot of our great national debate and/or give millions of readers validation of their prejudices. Some blogs even manage to break some news or reveal stuff that the main-stream media missed. And blogs with a theme such as cake-icing, dog grooming, or even Laser sailing satisfy the multitude of minority interests with which many of us choose to occupy our time on these potentially monotonous annual elliptical rides around the sun.
But 99.99% of blogs are just daily journals written by ordinary boring people like me and are only read by the writer's relatives, three friends, and that guy in Croatia who has nothing better to do. However even those blogs have some merit. Every human life starts from a tiny seed planted by God that grows into a beautiful flower that blooms in the sunshine and provides ineffable joy to every passer-by that gazes on its beauty....
What? Where was I? Where am I? Where did that last sentence come from? Am I channelling Oprah Winfrey or St. Francis? Where is the whisky bottle?
Anyway. Forget about blogs with genuine themes that are of interest to as much as .000023% of the human population (including the guy in Croatia). Forget about ANY blogs that are daily journals of an individual's boring job or unfulfilled social life. At least it's a life. And ignore the 27 million blogs that start with a post saying, "I've decided to start a blog," and then stop.
No. To qualify as The Most Pointless Blog in the World, a blog must...
- have been running for several months at least
- have several dozen posts at least
- have a theme
- but the theme is the most useless, pointless, nit-picking, tiny, worthless, uninteresting subject you can imagine.
To qualify as The Most Pointless Blog in the World, the theme of the blog must be something that if someone at a party said, "I do 'theme of pointless blog'," you would immediately blurt out, "Ohmigod, is that the time? I forgot I have an appointment with the dentist for a root canal. I must rush. Nice meeting you. Bye." And you would be thinking, "Geeze. Is this guy off his meds? How could he be interested in that? If he spends even ten seconds talking about that I will die of boredom."
A couple of examples to give you a flavor...
Why a Tittle? A blog devoted to examples of writing where i's are dotted when they shouldn't be. (Hmmm. Can a blog be pointless when it is dedicated to pointing out the existence of points that are pointless? Oh, never mind.)
Change is Good A blog that reports nothing more than the loose change that the author has found, mainly on the ground (posting almost daily since September 2003).
Let's just play out that party conversation test. You meet the author at a party and the conversation goes something like this...
You: Hi! I'm Joe.
Him: Hi. I'm Brian.
You: Nice to meet you, Brian. What do you do?
Brian: I pick up loose change.
Brian: On Sunday I found two cents, amazingly, given that I barely saw the light of day. The first penny was on the ground in the parking space next to mine at work. The second was on the ground inside work.
You: Really? You work Sundays? What do you do?
Brian: On Monday I found eleven cents--a dime and a penny--on the ground in the locker room at the gym.
You: Fascinating! You work out? Which gym do you use?
Brian: I didn't find anything on Tuesday. Liza found a dime at CVS, but I'm not yet certain if she's going to donate it to the quest.
You: Quest? Ummm. Ummm. Liza, is she your wife?
Brian: I didn't find anything today. Liza found a dime yesterday, at CVS, and is donating it to the quest.
You: Yes, you said. Ummm. Ummm. Oh, I think my wife needs some help over there. Will you excuse me?
You get the picture? There must be other Brians out there. Please submit your suggestions for the title of Most Pointless Blog in the World in the comments.