Friday, January 27, 2006

Ask the Tillerman #3

Dear Tillerman,
Every time I sail my Laser I get these terrible pains in my knees and thighs and back. I've tried doing stretches before and after sailing but it doesn't help. My girlfriend who has a cousin who used to date a guy who knew a girl who was training to be an orthodontist says I might have chrondomalatia patella and spondylolisthesis. I'm not getting any younger -- I'm 40 years old. Do I need to sell my Laser and find a keelboat?
Pained in Peoria.

Dear Pained in Peoria,
Don't be such a wuss. Laser sailing is meant to hurt -- just suck it up. And of course you are not too old for a Laser. I know two guys of 75 who are still sailing Lasers and one has an artificial hip and the other an artificial knee. Get yourself in shape for the 2006 North American Laser Masters that are just up the road from you in Milwaukee in September. And never ever mention the K word in my presence again.

Disclaimer and Irony Warning: Tillerman is not a doctor, a psychiatrist or a sports therapist. He is not qualified to diagnose your condition via email. To the fullest extent permitted at law, Tillerman is writing this blog and its contents on an "as is" basis and makes no (and expressly disclaims all) representations or warranties of any kind, express or implied, with respect to this blog including, without limitation, warranties of merchantability and fitness for a particular purpose. In addition, Tillerman does not represent or warrant that the information accessible via this blog is accurate, complete, current or even interesting.

Except as specifically stated on this blog, to the fullest extent permitted at law, neither Tillerman nor any of his affiliates, directors, employees, family members, pets, grandchildren or other representatives will be liable for damages arising out of or in connection with the use of this blog or the information, content, or materials included in this blog. This is a comprehensive limitation of liability that applies to all damages of any kind, including (without limitation) compensatory, direct, indirect or consequential damages, loss of data, income or profit, loss of or damage to property, death, injury, pain, discomfort, boredom or eye strain. For the avoidance of doubt, Tillerman is full of crap and often says the exact opposite of what he really thinks.


Carol Anne said...

You do have a wonderful sense of irony in your EULA.

Pat said...

Dear Tillerman,

Every time I visit our well-off friend's boat, he serves vin ordinaire (table wine) along with our surf-and-turf or continental dinners. His cook is hobbyist chef who has no internationally recognized chef credentials and his sauces can be somewhat hit-or-miss, even though his pastries are quite credible. Not only that, the Bohemian leaded crystal is only an average-quality export grade. Plus, our friend's crew has trouble getting the jacuzzi/hot tub adjusted to just the right temperature. I know cruising is supposed to be painful, but couldn't the guy at least have enough class to stock some decent vintages on board?

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