Thursday, April 22, 2010

Fantastic Lifestyle Product

I don't understand Internet marketing...

Today I received an email...

It's from someone who claims to be a "co-founder" of a website which apparently is an online publication dedicated to covering a certain European luxury car brand, established with the intent of bringing content about the brand from across the globe to one centralized location... blah blah blah... etc. etc. etc.

This person (he/she has one of those androgynous first names so I don't know if he/she is a he or a she) wants me to tell you about a certain item they are giving away. A bag. Apparently they think sailors need bags. They say the bag is a "fantastic lifestyle product."

Actually there are two different bags. I suppose they do have a vaguely nautical theme. Or at least the name of the bag manufacturer does have a vaguely nautical slant. According to the aforementioned website the bags -- sorry, fantastic lifestyle products --- are worth around $200 each. Personally I might consider buying them if they were around $20 each.

Check that. I would not buy one of these bags. I have a closet full of similar bags. They were given away by sponsors to all the entrants at sailing regattas in which I raced; or I won them at regattas for such achievements as "Third Place Old Geezer Between 55 And 65 Who Was Wearing An Orange Hat"... or something similar.

Apparently the bags are "inspired" by an even more obscure and elitist sport than sailing. The aforementioned luxury European car manufacturer is sponsoring one of their obscure, elitist events.

To win one of these bags -- sorry, fantastic lifestyle products -- "all" you have to do is sign up for an account with the website that is an online publication dedicated to covering a certain European luxury car brand, established with the intent of bringing content about the brand from across the globe to one centralized location... blah blah blah... etc. etc. etc. and leave a comment on the website. Two of the people who leave comments on the website will be selected at random to receive a bag -- sorry, fantastic lifestyle product.

Of course you know how this goes. You never receive a bag. On the other hand you will receive about five emails a week for the next ten years telling you about all the reasons you should consider buying one of those European luxury cars and/or winning other fantastic lifestyle products.

I have no idea why I received this email. Do they think that the readers of Proper Course are a good target for emails urging them to buy luxury European cars, or that they will sell their mothers to win fantastic lifestyle products?

I didn't bother to respond to the email.

I didn't think you would be interested.

I don't understand Internet marketing.

Can someone please explain it to me?

Oh, and Happy Earth Day.


Dennis @ Marine Electronics said...

Maybe they picked up on your post about wanting to represent Subaru and got nervous that your talent might be spent promoting Subaru instead of their brand, who knows... Would you reconsider if they threw in a pair of matching loafers?

Baydog said...

Or a fantastic lifestyle collapsible rain deflector, or cuticle maintenance kit, water purifier, travel iron? Actually, could you tell me more about this particular European luxury car brand?

Pat said...

Yep, tell them to bag it.

O Docker said...

I don't get the bag thing, either. I think they would be wise to forget about the bags and offer hats instead.

I have a lot of bags, some of which I value highly, but I have no strong emotional attachment to any of them. And no bag is worth $200.

Ah, but a hat is something altogether different.

A good hat is like an old friend. A good hat will protect you from all manner of hazard and onslaught, and ask little in return.

A hat will learn the ways of your head and configure itself to your contours, without being asked. What bag would show such involvement or consideration?

A good hat will complement your appearance while a bag hardly ever does. I offer the photo in your post as an example. The bag serves only to make the wearer appear foolish. How much more appropriate would a friendly hat be.

A hat requires no attention while on duty, but a bag is always sliding off the shoulder, shifting about, or otherwise reminding you of its awkward, intrusive presence.

A hat is a fantastic lifestyle product.

tillermeister said...

Baydog, I can tell you more about this brand. It's the one that had the worst CO2 average of all major European manufacturers for 2006, 2007 and 2008; and the one that was fined a record amount by the US last year for its inability to meet federal corporate average fuel economy regulations.

Quite a nice irony to pitch them to me on Earth Day!

bonnie said...

If they are giving away things that are worth $200 they should give away lifejackets.

Pat said...

Sometimes marketers

"get high on their own supply"


Baydog said...

Lifejackets, Bonnie, or oxygen masks?

Do tell, mein meister. Ich bin ein auto-enthusiast nicht. Mein auto habt zwei hundert plus miles und Ich hope to habe ein hundert mehr. Ich bin ein cheapskate. She may not be ecologically friendly, mein auto, but mit no more payments, at least she's friendly to my checkbook. Kleine victory

my2fish said...

I generally try to avoid situations where I might need two bags.

word check: normo
as in, "Two bags? that's not normo."

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