Saturday, September 01, 2012


Our family vacation on Cape Cod last month was wonderful... except for one thing. 

I discovered that there is a subversive in the family. Someone who either doesn't know or doesn't care that I am the leader of the campaign to erase the scourge of the foul-tasting "snack" called Uncrustables from the face of the earth.

Doesn't she read my blog?

Isn't she aware that I exposed the diabolical Uncrustables plot back in 2007?

Yes, dear reader. It's hard to believe but one day I opened the fridge at our vacation home and found inside.....



Yes, apparently one of my daughters-in-law had sneaked some Uncrustables into the refrigerator without my permission. What was she thinking?

Wait. It gets worse.

She feeds them to my grandson.

And he appears to like them!!!!!!

Owen eating vile-tasting "snack" 
made by the evil Smuckers empire

Where did I go wrong?


Baydog said...

But with a name like Smucker's, it has to be good!

Judith Krimski said...

Smuckers is for schmuckers.

Tillerman said...


O Docker said...

I'm surprised Kelloggs hasn't sued Smuckers for stealing the intellectual property of the Pop-Tart design.

An Uncrustable appears to have the look and feel of a Pop-Tart - globs of sugar substitutes and chemicals laminated between two slabs of artificial bread.

The two may or may not taste alike, but the lawyers probably wouldn't care much about that - when has a tort attorney ever concerned himself with matters of taste?

Tillerman said...

As discussed in the comment to my original post, the attempt by Smucker's to patent the Uncrustables design eventually failed. Perhaps the Proper Course resident IP attorney will leave a comment on whether Kelloggs has any enforceable rights to the Pop-Tart design.

O Docker said...

I think where Smuckers' legal minds went awry in their patent application was in using the phrase, at least one filling of an edible food.

Merely mentioning edible food opens the door to challenges on many grounds.

Tillerman said...

Is peanut butter even a "food"? I use it for packing my trailer hubs.

Pat said...

Peanut butter is a relatively healthful food, compared to many fast-food ingredients. Does this situation mean that you'll now be having to buy many of these food-like Unmentionables?

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